Fan-girling about momfluencers with actress Lindsey Broad
And distinguishing between the performance and the reality
Since the last few editions of this newsletter have dealt with the insidious sides of momfluencer culture (asshole windows, hogfathering husbands, vilified frozen dinners), I figured it was time to explore the culture from the perspective of someone who clearly distinguishes her appreciation for curated momfluencer content from a supposedly “authentic” reflection of a mother’s daily reality.
Lindsey Broad is an actress who has appeared in The Office, and most recently, American Crime Story: Impeachment. She’s also a self-described fan of momfluencer culture. Lindsey and I met via Insta DM after my first Harper’s Bazaar piece about momfluencers was published. Lindsey shared it with her followers, and we started chatting about our particular momfluencer obsessions. A friendship was born!
Here’s a bit of our convo about appreciating momfluencer culture because of its innate performativity, how spotting Taza on the street left Lindsey feeling starstruck, and why shaming people for enjoying momfluencer content is reductive. This interview been sliced and diced for clarity!
Sara: So what sect of momfluencer culture would you say you're most intimate with?
Lindsey: I’m not really into, like, the super curated Californian mom with a messy blonde topknot who has a bunch of daughters wearing matching denim. I'm more into the women who live in upstate New York and have gorgeous photos, and can wear Rudy Jude jeans, which I'm convinced are not going to be flattering on anybody other than like three women.
I’m also into the ones who are like, deeply obsessed with being a mom in a very flowery way.
There's an element of these women who are kind of putting poetry into motherhood, and being like, way over the top and extreme about it. I guess there's so much grunt work in being a mom and finding people who want to give the flowery parts lots of attention is very interesting to me.
And then I'm also very obsessed with the women who dress their kids in like 1950s clothes and might be super Christian (like @lindseybadenhop) because I think I am weirdly jealous of women who genuinely feel like it is okay for their sole ambition to be a mom. I feel a lot of envy for moms who don't feel (or at least don't outwardly feel) the societal pressure or the financial pressure or the artistic pressure of succeeding in something else, and can just fully throw themselves into motherhood. And I wish I could just have four kids and like, go for it. Because I love being a mom in a way that I didn't anticipate.
Sara: That is super interesting. And yeah, do you think these women on Instagram with big followings feel that artistic pull? That craving for an audience and external creative expression? Do you know what I mean?
Lindsey: Yeah, I think so. So it's interesting because if you look at like, Taza or Hannah from Ballerina Farm; I think a lot of these women are people who started out with maybe some kind of performative interest. They were either dancers or they wanted to be actresses, or something in the arts. And maybe that life was too hard or whatever, but now they have the ability to be artistic. I find Instagramming, in an odd way, to be like, one of the purest forms of expression I've ever found for myself. The ability to frame and caption your own life is similar to what good memoirists do, you know?
I think about this a lot in terms of my own kids, and I hope that they'll look at my Instagram as this diary in a way of their childhood. That they'll be able to go back and see how I felt about being a mom.
And I absolutely think, that like, Hannah from Ballerina Farm needs attention. She was a dancer. She was a beautiful young dancer. And now I mean, listen, she gets a lot more attention doing this than she probably would have gotten as a ballet dancer. She's famous, you know? Taza is famous!
Sara: One thing that's striking me about what you're saying is that you very clearly see this as like, basically artistic expression and performative. Do you think it gets dicey for people who consume it without explicitly viewing it as artistic expression? Like if they're just consuming it being like, Oh, I guess this is just this person's life and it looks way more fun and way prettier than mine.
Lindsey: I mean, I’m an actor, so it’s hard for me to understand that viewpoint. Like for me, I don't look at Instagram and feel bad. Just like looking at a model wouldn’t make me feel bad. You know what I mean? Because it's literally what they do for a living.
For me, if I look at somebody like Bonjourmoon, I just think she’s just really good at what she does. And I can appreciate that. I mean, I separate her content from her reality the same way I can separate an actor from a character. I can recognize good content without feeling the need to compare my life to anyone else’s.
Sara: That makes a ton of sense why it’s so easy for you to distinguish between someone else’s reality (which we can never truly know) and the performance of their reality.
Lindsey: Yeah, I appreciate it as a fan. I saw Taza on the street once on the Upper West Side. And I was like, Oh! That was like, a big moment for me! It was so exciting. She is SO curated and her content is so performative, so for me to see her in her real life with her twins with another mom, it was like seeing an actor in real life. I texted like 15 people about it.
Sara: 100% I would have done the same thing. Who are you current obsessions?
Lindsey: The Brawners are the most amazing people on Instagram. They're this absolutely gorgeous family of four adopted children and one biological child. The mom and dad are very young. I think they're in their early 30s. I believe they were very Christian. They were from Texas. And then the husband came out, and is in a relationship with a man. But the three of them are raising these children together and they up and moved to my old neighborhood on the Upper West Side. They take beautiful photos and videos and he’s this gorgeous writer. And I'm just obsessed.
Sara: I feel like there's a lot of talk about why Instagram is bad and it’s all fake and just a bunch of pretty pictures, etc. I guess I’m wondering your thoughts about that narrative. Like, is there anything inherently wrong in enjoying pretty pictures?
Lindsey: Yeah, everyone is like, “turn off your phone.” And, like, don't shame me for liking it! I like it, you know? And I yeah, I don't know. I mean, before I had my first son, I had no model of motherhood in terms of people my age. I had barely any friends with babies. So for me to discover this world of moms was really validating because where else do you see any kind of performance of motherhood in public?
And I think it’s fucking great that women can make money off of performative motherhood. I wish I had actually known about this whole world when I was pregnant because I was so depressed while I was pregnant, and I had no model for what it was gonna be like, and yeah. I’m a fan.
Sara: I love it. What do you think happens to the moms who do just completely devote themselves fully to motherhood once their kids go to college or leave the house?
Lindsey: Wow. Okay. I can’t imagine outgrowing social media. I don't see that happening. I like social media. I have to imagine that we're gonna just sort of grow and evolve with it, you know? I think the cream will rise to the top. And the people who really express themselves in a thoughtful way will hopefully continue reflecting on their own lives in an interesting way with or without children in their house. And we'll just get thoughtful consideration of different phases of our lives as women.
Thank you so much Lindsey!
Which aspects of momfluencer culture do you consume as a fan? What (and who) provide you with the sheer joy of entertainment?