American consumer culture really loves to flatten all mothers into a monolithic category of shoppability, but it turns out, moms are individuals with indivual interests, desires, and hobbies! WHO KNEW. While Hallmark et all seem to think we should all crave nothing more than some photogenic snuggles from our wee ones and the requisite breakfast in bed, I’m curious. What do you actually want (if anything) this Mother’s Day? How do you want to spend the day? Do you want to ignore it completely? Do you want to be completely alone? Do you want to be lavished with attention from your family?
My kids’ friends are always very intrigued by our grocery list notepad lol.
My plan is to spend the weekend with my sister (who is also a mother) eating delicious food and hopefully reading on a beach (weather dependent because New England). And then I hope to return to my family and be presented with thoughtfully written hand-made cards. I will absolutely be making this wish publically known to all interested parties!
What’s your plan this weekend? Is it Mother’s Day related? Is it Fuck Mother’s Day related? Is it JUST A WEEKEND?
Last year my husband and kid visited their mom/ grandma for a long weekend. While I puttered around the house by myself. It was so ideal. He suggested the same this year and I am so looking forward to it and to this being a yearly tradition. The gift of solitude.
I ordered fabric to sew a fun summer dress, and if it gets delivered on time, I just want to work on the project. Not for for 10 minutes, not for an hour, as long as I want. Creative hobbies get put on the back burner the most.
My husband and daughter share the same affliction of never remembering dates and holidays, and my husband's traveling for work so won't even think about nudging our daughter. But she's 13 and is capable. We're moving soon and can't ship our food so I told her to use up pantry ingredients to bake me something and she volunteered on her own to wake up early with the dog both Saturday and Sunday to walk him and give him breakfast, and make my coffee. Sleeping in a little on those days, and having baked goods made by someone else (and she cleans up the kitchen, too!) will be enough. For the rest of the time it will just be a normal weekend.
My son started primary school this year and they do a “Mother’s Day stall” where the parents buy a voucher so the kid can get a gift. As my birthday also falls on Mother’s Day (and as I know my husband will have remembered the link I sent him in March so he doesn’t have to manage the terror of independent gift choosing), I told my son that we wouldn’t buy a school voucher because (a) I have enough, (b) I find these celebrations somewhat stressful for all your reasons above (c) I requested “nothing extra” for presents, dinner out, etc, so additional funds could be donated to Gaza.
Anywho, my son came home sad after the other kids teased him for not having a voucher to buy me a “Great Mom!” Mug. Ugh.
This Mother’s Day, I’m thinking of the women everywhere who don’t have the support they need, the women who don’t want to become mothers but now no longer have a choice, and especially the mothers in Gaza.
Thank you for shouting out the cluster-fuckery of capitalist “appreciation” ♥️
Gosh, what a cluster for you! Every which way you turn...it's pressure. You're right, the people, the mothers, in Gaza is where our attention and $ should go
I'm flying to Colorado (from NY) to spend a long weekend with two of my friends who are also mothers. We plan to hike, do yoga, ride a horse (!!), soak in hot springs, and eat so much food. I wont make it back until Monday and I am fine with that.
Mother's Day really needs to be at any other time other than crazy busy May! I'm going to spend time just with my mom, getting us cooked lobsters and enjoying them alone, together, at her house, while my husband and sons do whatever BUT I cannot just laze the day away as it's smack dab in our busy months of birthdays, baseball, end of school stuff, etc. A lot of things that are on my chore list happen on Sundays ( my design and preference) so even if I shift some of them to Saturday, I'm still doing the work! All I really want for Mother's Day is to not be the default parent and that's what I'm going to get!
Here's the problem - my first nine years of motherhood, I just wanted to be left alone for Mother's Day. But now that my kids are older and I like hanging out with them more (lol) I want to do something fun as a family, but I can't decide what 😩 I don't think I just want to go out to brunch or dinner (although I do not want to cook at all that day) but everything else I can think of is either kid-focused or something we do all the time. So please give me ideas!
Do an escape room! And then get ice cream after. Even a little bit younger kids can get into them and it’s amazing and leads to fun talks about which puzzles were cool and which were lame or too difficult.
I’m going away to visit non-parent friends for a long weekend- very excited! My friend’s husband already wrote me to make sure he knew my coffee and breakfast desires. When I get back I would love a nice card with a drawing on it from my kid.
My oldest is coming home from his first year of college on Saturday and all I want to do on Sunday is go with everyone to see The Fall Guy at the movie theater that has food and adult beverages while you watch the movie. And also for the movie to be as amazingly ridiculous as I’m hoping it is.
I want to sleep in, have a bagel sandwich for breakfast, and then not have to meet anyone's emotional or physical needs for the rest of the day. My kids are older now, so this is doable! I'm happy to spend time with them as long as we are only doing stuff I want to do...which right now feels most likely to be time spent reading on my porch.
I’m not a mother or a parent, but I was just thinking about this as I mailed off a card to my own mom. Like, did she want whatever attempts we kids had made for her back in the day? Or was it a case of “I got a robe” syndrome? (See the SNL Christmas skit where mom did 1000 things and in return, got one gift, a robe.) My mom was a single parent for ages, so no other adult directed our ham-fisted, capitalism-inflected small kid attempts to ‘make her feel valued.’ But schooling influenced us, our teachers creating narratives for us, like “draw her a picture” or “write what you love about your mom.” Never asked mom once what she’d have liked.
Oh yup yup yup - the school worksheets! And yeah - there are so many cases (single parenthood of course but also asshole spouse) where there's no grownup really asking questions of the Blessed Mother in question, right?
I have a college friend coming from out of town so I told my husband I’m hanging out with her and he’s on kid duty, and he’s giving me a gift certificate to my favorite tea shop so we can buy some lovely overpriced tea to enjoy. I’m finally adjusting to my husbands gifting style which is very much “please don’t make me guess” 😂 my babies are too little to know what’s going on so I’ll just get some snuggles from them 💕
I must admit that I love Mother's Day--my mom lives nearby, she is alive, and we don't have a fraught relationship. Also I love it like I love my birthday--give me presents! write me a card about how you love me! Ply me with treats! I'm easily fooled, I guess. This Mother's Day, I am sleeping in, and then we're going to my mom's house for a potluck brunch, and then I'm going to my dance class, which I go to every weekend. My husband will cook dinner. I asked for The Work of Art, that cool new book edited by Adam Moss, where he interviews artists across all disciplines (painters, writers, filmmakers, etc) about their process. Oh, and Friday I am getting a facial because WHY NOT. I love a holiday as an excuse to treat myself.
In my heart of hearts, I love a good brunch/afternoon tea/anything fancy. But we have a new baby, so I wasn’t expecting that. My husband, however, made a reservation for our family (and my parents—they live locally) to go to brunch. And while I am excited and appreciate him taking the initiative, I am also anxious. About nap time, about getting everyone ready, about whether my husband will have to walk around with the baby the whole time to keep her from melting down. I’ve talked about it with him and he assures me he will take care of everything, but I’m just anxious. So much for my dream day where I’m responsible for nothing and don’t think about anything I don’t want to all day long 🤣 And there better be a nice gift 💁♀️ I’m still waiting on the flowers he “intended” to get me for Valentine’s Day until the day did not go exactly according to plan and he was unable to improvise—or to give me flowers on any day thereafter like I pointed out he could. So we’ll see.
A suggestion: it sounds like your anxiety about brunch may ruin it for you. Maybe an alternative would be to tell your husband - I appreciate you doing this thing that I would normally love, but I'm not up to it this year. Maybe brunch this year looks like coffee, croissants/donuts/your favorite breakfast pastry, and bellinis in your backyard? You can still invite your parents, if you want. And then if the baby needs a nap, stick her in her crib b/c you're already at home. Also: my husband is not a flower-getter either. I just buy myself whatever flowers I want, whenever I want :-)
Yeah, I think you’re underestimating the isolation/need to have someone serve me a meal feelings that I also have with a baby. If we stay home, none of that will happen. I’m excited to go to a restaurant and drink wine, so I’m going to focus on that 🤷♀️
Totally get it. It was only a suggestion. Ultimately you do whatever is best for you! I hope you enjoy yourself and don't stress too much if your husband has to walk around the restaurant with the baby :-)
I asked for my partner and kids to plan, shop for, cook and clean up a nice lunch at home. The mental load of food/meals is always mine (we're starting to try and distribute it, but not quite there yet), so one day off from doing that while I sit somewhere quiet and read or watch some TV seems reasonable to me!
This made me think of my first Mother's Day. My son was 10 months old. My relationship with my mother was fraught and she had some "altercation" with my husband at 2am when she was "helping" us right after the baby was born. I woke up that morning and she was gone. Nevertheless, I was still trying to have a relationship with her. I invited her to lunch with my family for Mother's Day: me, my husband and my son. She said she would only go to lunch with me and my son. That woman wanted me to choose her over my family. I told her "No" and that I would only go to lunch if my husband was there too, and she dug in and said, "no she would not go." That sealed a several year stint of no communication between us.
Anyway, that was my first Mother's Day and after that I think Mother's Day can go suck it!
I’m seeing the Eras Tour in Paris with two longtime girlfriends and ignoring Mothers Day entirely. We scheduled the trip as a celebration of our 20 years of friendship that has spanned marriages, kids, career changes, and more before even realizing it was MD. But celebrating my full, joyous, stuffed life— before and after becoming a mom— beats flowers and a card any day.
Reporting back that it was a once in a lifetime trip and everything was beyond my wildest expectations, especially the show itself. Mother’s Day is meant to be celebrated with 40,000 other people, at least 90 percent fellow women and girls, scream-singing “THAT’S A REAL FUCKING LEGACY.”
A couple of years ago I released myself from the (self-inflicted) pressure to buy a gift for my mom; a card will do, no need to spend $80 on flower delivery. We had a good chat about it and my mom totally concurred. We love each other and the “holiday” is really capitalist BS, especially as women’s rights are stripped away. Instead I make a donation in her name to the Homeless Prenatal Program, an amazing nonprofit in my city. Also: relinquished all MIL gifting/card duties to my husband. Personally, I just want a nice chill day with my fam where I am not responsible for cooking or planning anything. I’ve made this wish known. Do hope I receive a sweet kid-made card though!
I love this - and it occurs to me more and more how little communication happens about these holidays? Like, you and your mom talking it out and coming up with your own terms feels radical (which is wild!)
We're having a tea party in honor of Bob, a beloved cat we adopted during the pandemic. My daughter, her friend, and her friend's daughter will be here as we sip tea, eat dainty little cookies, and reminisce about Bob. We have also invited Katniss and Inka and will have some specially prepared catnip tea for them, although they didn't care for Bob.
I kind of don’t care but I want my daughter to draw or paint me a card instead of the half assed toilet paper tube nonsense she made at the last minute last year. I want my husband to ensure this happens but will he?
I want to make a strawberry cake on Saturday and eat it for breakfast. It’s supposed to be unseasonably nice so I want to sit on the deck and read.
What I don’t want is to call my mother or host dinner for my in laws.
I want the impossible: no crying before 10 am (kids are 12 months and 27 months, but maybe this wish applies to those outside of baby/toddler years?). A day all alone, specifically being home alone, would be even better, but also impossible this year. I’ll settle for getting out of the house by myself for a long walk.
Good gravy, the eye rolling! I’m sure it’s maddening, but at least not stressful in the way that two crying babies are. (Here I’m telling myself it gets better!)
I'm a first one mom and I would love to be able to financially go to Walmart and get my beautiful baby girl a couple outfits and a small pack of diapers. Going through a tuff area right now and I barley had enough to get her the pack of diapers today .
Would love a blessing or 2 even a dollar would help . Cash app $KINGG89JENN thanks
This will be my first mother's day, and I want a schmoopy card from my partner (he knows!), to sleep in as late as I want, and then some family time doing an activity of my choosing (probably a hike). I took off from work the Monday after so I can have a day to myself (baby will be at daycare), and I plan to (again) sleep in as late as I want, spend some leisurely time reading, and get a massage. Basically a combo of time to myself and time to enjoy my family!
Mother's Day has so often been so fraught for me--I want to feel special and appreciated, and I don't want to have to articulate my requests, which uh doesn't work, it turns out! Last year I ran away on a writing retreat over Mother's Day and that was amazing (and my husband had our kids write little notes, which he tucked into my bag of books, perfect) and this year I requested a train ride into Philadelphia (it's a speed rail, not like a steam train kind of deal) to get fancy donuts at Federal Donuts and sit in the park and look at cute kids, then a dinner I have no part in cooking. I'm already thrilled about it!
I want to ignore it BUT! I want Whatsisface to enforce all my expectations for me without my asking- the kids to put their dishes in the sink when they're done, to put dirty clothes in the washing machine, the full trash can to get taken out, the litter box cleaned, etc. I guess I could leave a note on the counter, since there's no way he does that on his own. A little gift to my future self.
Oh this list! My kids do this thing where they open the dryer, root around for whatever it is they want, and then in the process leave all the clean clothes on the floor. It's so helpful!!!!!! Also really love the use of "whatsisface" here - chef's kiss.
This year my husband will be out of town and my daughter is far away at college so it will be just my son and I. He’s an adult living on his own so in addition to blissful quiet I will get for most of that weekend he will come over Sunday night to make me dinner. He’s an awesome cook and does the dishes too. I can’t wait!
I want my husband to take our ten year old out for breakfast while I “sleep in.” But instead, I dress up incognito and admire them from a nearby table while drinking a hot coffee from start to finish.
I’m feeling really snarky about Mother’s Day this year. It feels insincere. I’m not in the mood! I did tell my husband and my 3 boys that I want everyone to do their chores WITHOUT me asking them. I called it a quality of life improver. Let’s keep this going ALL the time, starting now (this was last Sunday night) I also said I’m not cooking Sunday. So far I’m still reminding every one of their chores. Any tips are welcome.
Thanks. It actually led to a really fun dinner conversation where everyone was sharing what their quality of life improver is. Music was the big winner!! As were dogs, food, and travel.
Yep. Definitely amused by what consumerism thinks I want and how all of those things they think I want are simply supporting a flawed culture that I have no interest in. Parenting twin girls, now 10, what I really want on the Saturday before Mother's Day is a clean house (including windows) -- cleaned by a professional, all the laundry done and put away, the garage emptied and organized, organization under the sinks, and children who don't fight... you know, to essentially not have to be a mother for one day. Then on Mother's Day itself I want children to not fight all day, coffee delivered around 8am then to stay in my room by myself until noon-ish - uninterrupted - doing whatever, then receive handmade cards (always on my list) + one of their original paintings/drawings/gifts at home brunch made by them, a 15 minute walk w/everyone, then lounge in the nearby native botanic garden and do nothing while the kids run around and I can watch them. Oh, and world peace. But especially world peace. Then on Monday, I will celebrate #realmothersday and drive to see one of my good friends doing whatever we want and then don't come home until kids are asleep.
I am a mum of 3 boys. I've said I want to go get a massage and would love a nice meal with my fam (my husband is a great cook). I get a lot of psychic pressure from my Mum who lives 90 minutes drive away to celebrate her and circle her. I sent her something in the mail this year and said I'm staying put at home
I'm sleeping in, my family is getting my breakfast (bagels, super easy) and then we're all seeing a movie before coming home to nap and ordering in for dinner. Bliss.
Last year my husband and kid visited their mom/ grandma for a long weekend. While I puttered around the house by myself. It was so ideal. He suggested the same this year and I am so looking forward to it and to this being a yearly tradition. The gift of solitude.
PUTTERING FOR LIFE
I love that he suggested a repeat. Enjoy your quiet day!
I ordered fabric to sew a fun summer dress, and if it gets delivered on time, I just want to work on the project. Not for for 10 minutes, not for an hour, as long as I want. Creative hobbies get put on the back burner the most.
I LOVE this - I typically request uninterrupted gardening time which is very similar! Such luxury not having to squeeze in an hour or whatever.
Really great point.
My husband and daughter share the same affliction of never remembering dates and holidays, and my husband's traveling for work so won't even think about nudging our daughter. But she's 13 and is capable. We're moving soon and can't ship our food so I told her to use up pantry ingredients to bake me something and she volunteered on her own to wake up early with the dog both Saturday and Sunday to walk him and give him breakfast, and make my coffee. Sleeping in a little on those days, and having baked goods made by someone else (and she cleans up the kitchen, too!) will be enough. For the rest of the time it will just be a normal weekend.
My son started primary school this year and they do a “Mother’s Day stall” where the parents buy a voucher so the kid can get a gift. As my birthday also falls on Mother’s Day (and as I know my husband will have remembered the link I sent him in March so he doesn’t have to manage the terror of independent gift choosing), I told my son that we wouldn’t buy a school voucher because (a) I have enough, (b) I find these celebrations somewhat stressful for all your reasons above (c) I requested “nothing extra” for presents, dinner out, etc, so additional funds could be donated to Gaza.
Anywho, my son came home sad after the other kids teased him for not having a voucher to buy me a “Great Mom!” Mug. Ugh.
This Mother’s Day, I’m thinking of the women everywhere who don’t have the support they need, the women who don’t want to become mothers but now no longer have a choice, and especially the mothers in Gaza.
Thank you for shouting out the cluster-fuckery of capitalist “appreciation” ♥️
Oh man your little guy! It's truly incredible how many ways this holiday can be a mindfuck.
"holiday"
Gosh, what a cluster for you! Every which way you turn...it's pressure. You're right, the people, the mothers, in Gaza is where our attention and $ should go
This Sunday, I am going to visit my mom and my MIL. Because Mother's Day.
As for me, I would like to spend the day in a small resort, read a book and just lounge all day in a nice dress.
This isn't happening soon.
I salute you for making your wish publicly known to all interested parties!
Happy Mother's Day!
ahhhhhh yes a small resorttttttttt
I'm flying to Colorado (from NY) to spend a long weekend with two of my friends who are also mothers. We plan to hike, do yoga, ride a horse (!!), soak in hot springs, and eat so much food. I wont make it back until Monday and I am fine with that.
absolutely delightful
Ooh, I live in Colorado, and that’s definitely a perfect colorado itinerary! Pack warm pjs, it’s chilly this weekend! 😉
Mother's Day really needs to be at any other time other than crazy busy May! I'm going to spend time just with my mom, getting us cooked lobsters and enjoying them alone, together, at her house, while my husband and sons do whatever BUT I cannot just laze the day away as it's smack dab in our busy months of birthdays, baseball, end of school stuff, etc. A lot of things that are on my chore list happen on Sundays ( my design and preference) so even if I shift some of them to Saturday, I'm still doing the work! All I really want for Mother's Day is to not be the default parent and that's what I'm going to get!
ENJOYING THEM ALONE - key phrase :)
Here's the problem - my first nine years of motherhood, I just wanted to be left alone for Mother's Day. But now that my kids are older and I like hanging out with them more (lol) I want to do something fun as a family, but I can't decide what 😩 I don't think I just want to go out to brunch or dinner (although I do not want to cook at all that day) but everything else I can think of is either kid-focused or something we do all the time. So please give me ideas!
I mean, it's not creative, but I always love a movie!
Do an escape room! And then get ice cream after. Even a little bit younger kids can get into them and it’s amazing and leads to fun talks about which puzzles were cool and which were lame or too difficult.
The year for my birthday we did an escape room and it was so much fun! Best idea for adult kids.
I’m going away to visit non-parent friends for a long weekend- very excited! My friend’s husband already wrote me to make sure he knew my coffee and breakfast desires. When I get back I would love a nice card with a drawing on it from my kid.
LOVE
My oldest is coming home from his first year of college on Saturday and all I want to do on Sunday is go with everyone to see The Fall Guy at the movie theater that has food and adult beverages while you watch the movie. And also for the movie to be as amazingly ridiculous as I’m hoping it is.
ahhhh first year of college - that's HUGE!
The Fall Guy is GREAT
I want to sleep in, have a bagel sandwich for breakfast, and then not have to meet anyone's emotional or physical needs for the rest of the day. My kids are older now, so this is doable! I'm happy to spend time with them as long as we are only doing stuff I want to do...which right now feels most likely to be time spent reading on my porch.
oh a break from meeting needs is absolutely clutch
You are living the dream only doing stuff with them that you want to do!!
I’m not a mother or a parent, but I was just thinking about this as I mailed off a card to my own mom. Like, did she want whatever attempts we kids had made for her back in the day? Or was it a case of “I got a robe” syndrome? (See the SNL Christmas skit where mom did 1000 things and in return, got one gift, a robe.) My mom was a single parent for ages, so no other adult directed our ham-fisted, capitalism-inflected small kid attempts to ‘make her feel valued.’ But schooling influenced us, our teachers creating narratives for us, like “draw her a picture” or “write what you love about your mom.” Never asked mom once what she’d have liked.
Oh yup yup yup - the school worksheets! And yeah - there are so many cases (single parenthood of course but also asshole spouse) where there's no grownup really asking questions of the Blessed Mother in question, right?
Right.
I have a college friend coming from out of town so I told my husband I’m hanging out with her and he’s on kid duty, and he’s giving me a gift certificate to my favorite tea shop so we can buy some lovely overpriced tea to enjoy. I’m finally adjusting to my husbands gifting style which is very much “please don’t make me guess” 😂 my babies are too little to know what’s going on so I’ll just get some snuggles from them 💕
I must admit that I love Mother's Day--my mom lives nearby, she is alive, and we don't have a fraught relationship. Also I love it like I love my birthday--give me presents! write me a card about how you love me! Ply me with treats! I'm easily fooled, I guess. This Mother's Day, I am sleeping in, and then we're going to my mom's house for a potluck brunch, and then I'm going to my dance class, which I go to every weekend. My husband will cook dinner. I asked for The Work of Art, that cool new book edited by Adam Moss, where he interviews artists across all disciplines (painters, writers, filmmakers, etc) about their process. Oh, and Friday I am getting a facial because WHY NOT. I love a holiday as an excuse to treat myself.
I mean, this all sounds absolutely glorious.
I admire you.
In my heart of hearts, I love a good brunch/afternoon tea/anything fancy. But we have a new baby, so I wasn’t expecting that. My husband, however, made a reservation for our family (and my parents—they live locally) to go to brunch. And while I am excited and appreciate him taking the initiative, I am also anxious. About nap time, about getting everyone ready, about whether my husband will have to walk around with the baby the whole time to keep her from melting down. I’ve talked about it with him and he assures me he will take care of everything, but I’m just anxious. So much for my dream day where I’m responsible for nothing and don’t think about anything I don’t want to all day long 🤣 And there better be a nice gift 💁♀️ I’m still waiting on the flowers he “intended” to get me for Valentine’s Day until the day did not go exactly according to plan and he was unable to improvise—or to give me flowers on any day thereafter like I pointed out he could. So we’ll see.
I so feel you - doing ANYTHING with a new baby made me feel anxious! Especially if that something was supposed to be special! A lot of pressure.
He could take the baby and your parents out for brunch and you could have the house to yourself!
A suggestion: it sounds like your anxiety about brunch may ruin it for you. Maybe an alternative would be to tell your husband - I appreciate you doing this thing that I would normally love, but I'm not up to it this year. Maybe brunch this year looks like coffee, croissants/donuts/your favorite breakfast pastry, and bellinis in your backyard? You can still invite your parents, if you want. And then if the baby needs a nap, stick her in her crib b/c you're already at home. Also: my husband is not a flower-getter either. I just buy myself whatever flowers I want, whenever I want :-)
Yeah, I think you’re underestimating the isolation/need to have someone serve me a meal feelings that I also have with a baby. If we stay home, none of that will happen. I’m excited to go to a restaurant and drink wine, so I’m going to focus on that 🤷♀️
Totally get it. It was only a suggestion. Ultimately you do whatever is best for you! I hope you enjoy yourself and don't stress too much if your husband has to walk around the restaurant with the baby :-)
I asked for my partner and kids to plan, shop for, cook and clean up a nice lunch at home. The mental load of food/meals is always mine (we're starting to try and distribute it, but not quite there yet), so one day off from doing that while I sit somewhere quiet and read or watch some TV seems reasonable to me!
This made me think of my first Mother's Day. My son was 10 months old. My relationship with my mother was fraught and she had some "altercation" with my husband at 2am when she was "helping" us right after the baby was born. I woke up that morning and she was gone. Nevertheless, I was still trying to have a relationship with her. I invited her to lunch with my family for Mother's Day: me, my husband and my son. She said she would only go to lunch with me and my son. That woman wanted me to choose her over my family. I told her "No" and that I would only go to lunch if my husband was there too, and she dug in and said, "no she would not go." That sealed a several year stint of no communication between us.
Anyway, that was my first Mother's Day and after that I think Mother's Day can go suck it!
fuck i'm sorry - nothing like mom tension to really really mark mother's day as a nightmare!
I’m seeing the Eras Tour in Paris with two longtime girlfriends and ignoring Mothers Day entirely. We scheduled the trip as a celebration of our 20 years of friendship that has spanned marriages, kids, career changes, and more before even realizing it was MD. But celebrating my full, joyous, stuffed life— before and after becoming a mom— beats flowers and a card any day.
shut UP that is so fucking FUNNNNNNNN
Reporting back that it was a once in a lifetime trip and everything was beyond my wildest expectations, especially the show itself. Mother’s Day is meant to be celebrated with 40,000 other people, at least 90 percent fellow women and girls, scream-singing “THAT’S A REAL FUCKING LEGACY.”
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH (I hope you also ate as much delicious food as possible lol)
A couple of years ago I released myself from the (self-inflicted) pressure to buy a gift for my mom; a card will do, no need to spend $80 on flower delivery. We had a good chat about it and my mom totally concurred. We love each other and the “holiday” is really capitalist BS, especially as women’s rights are stripped away. Instead I make a donation in her name to the Homeless Prenatal Program, an amazing nonprofit in my city. Also: relinquished all MIL gifting/card duties to my husband. Personally, I just want a nice chill day with my fam where I am not responsible for cooking or planning anything. I’ve made this wish known. Do hope I receive a sweet kid-made card though!
I love this - and it occurs to me more and more how little communication happens about these holidays? Like, you and your mom talking it out and coming up with your own terms feels radical (which is wild!)
We're having a tea party in honor of Bob, a beloved cat we adopted during the pandemic. My daughter, her friend, and her friend's daughter will be here as we sip tea, eat dainty little cookies, and reminisce about Bob. We have also invited Katniss and Inka and will have some specially prepared catnip tea for them, although they didn't care for Bob.
BOB! Heart emoji!
I kind of don’t care but I want my daughter to draw or paint me a card instead of the half assed toilet paper tube nonsense she made at the last minute last year. I want my husband to ensure this happens but will he?
I want to make a strawberry cake on Saturday and eat it for breakfast. It’s supposed to be unseasonably nice so I want to sit on the deck and read.
What I don’t want is to call my mother or host dinner for my in laws.
oh wow a strawberry cake sounds so good right now!
I want the impossible: no crying before 10 am (kids are 12 months and 27 months, but maybe this wish applies to those outside of baby/toddler years?). A day all alone, specifically being home alone, would be even better, but also impossible this year. I’ll settle for getting out of the house by myself for a long walk.
I mean you could sub "crying" for "eye rolling when asked to brush teeth" if we're talking about tweens lol.
Good gravy, the eye rolling! I’m sure it’s maddening, but at least not stressful in the way that two crying babies are. (Here I’m telling myself it gets better!)
no for sure - you can much more easily ignore an eye roll lol
I'm a first one mom and I would love to be able to financially go to Walmart and get my beautiful baby girl a couple outfits and a small pack of diapers. Going through a tuff area right now and I barley had enough to get her the pack of diapers today .
Would love a blessing or 2 even a dollar would help . Cash app $KINGG89JENN thanks
This will be my first mother's day, and I want a schmoopy card from my partner (he knows!), to sleep in as late as I want, and then some family time doing an activity of my choosing (probably a hike). I took off from work the Monday after so I can have a day to myself (baby will be at daycare), and I plan to (again) sleep in as late as I want, spend some leisurely time reading, and get a massage. Basically a combo of time to myself and time to enjoy my family!
I want to sleep-in and not cook. Husband is on morning duty and we're going to order sushi after the kiddo is bed.
Mother's Day has so often been so fraught for me--I want to feel special and appreciated, and I don't want to have to articulate my requests, which uh doesn't work, it turns out! Last year I ran away on a writing retreat over Mother's Day and that was amazing (and my husband had our kids write little notes, which he tucked into my bag of books, perfect) and this year I requested a train ride into Philadelphia (it's a speed rail, not like a steam train kind of deal) to get fancy donuts at Federal Donuts and sit in the park and look at cute kids, then a dinner I have no part in cooking. I'm already thrilled about it!
Oh I love this! Also a bag o' books with secret notes sounds pretty close to gift perfection.
right? (I mean, they were research books that I'd packed, but oddball little kid notes tucked into them? perfect!)
I want to ignore it BUT! I want Whatsisface to enforce all my expectations for me without my asking- the kids to put their dishes in the sink when they're done, to put dirty clothes in the washing machine, the full trash can to get taken out, the litter box cleaned, etc. I guess I could leave a note on the counter, since there's no way he does that on his own. A little gift to my future self.
Oh this list! My kids do this thing where they open the dryer, root around for whatever it is they want, and then in the process leave all the clean clothes on the floor. It's so helpful!!!!!! Also really love the use of "whatsisface" here - chef's kiss.
This year my husband will be out of town and my daughter is far away at college so it will be just my son and I. He’s an adult living on his own so in addition to blissful quiet I will get for most of that weekend he will come over Sunday night to make me dinner. He’s an awesome cook and does the dishes too. I can’t wait!
I want my husband to take our ten year old out for breakfast while I “sleep in.” But instead, I dress up incognito and admire them from a nearby table while drinking a hot coffee from start to finish.
Happy Mothers Day 🩷
lol this is very akin to looking at baby pictures on your phone while the baby sleeps
I’m feeling really snarky about Mother’s Day this year. It feels insincere. I’m not in the mood! I did tell my husband and my 3 boys that I want everyone to do their chores WITHOUT me asking them. I called it a quality of life improver. Let’s keep this going ALL the time, starting now (this was last Sunday night) I also said I’m not cooking Sunday. So far I’m still reminding every one of their chores. Any tips are welcome.
oh i love this phrase (quality of life improver) - will be stealing!
Thanks. It actually led to a really fun dinner conversation where everyone was sharing what their quality of life improver is. Music was the big winner!! As were dogs, food, and travel.
oh, and almost forgot -- two REAL newspapers for Sunday morning. NYTimes and LATimes. That is all, thank you.
Yep. Definitely amused by what consumerism thinks I want and how all of those things they think I want are simply supporting a flawed culture that I have no interest in. Parenting twin girls, now 10, what I really want on the Saturday before Mother's Day is a clean house (including windows) -- cleaned by a professional, all the laundry done and put away, the garage emptied and organized, organization under the sinks, and children who don't fight... you know, to essentially not have to be a mother for one day. Then on Mother's Day itself I want children to not fight all day, coffee delivered around 8am then to stay in my room by myself until noon-ish - uninterrupted - doing whatever, then receive handmade cards (always on my list) + one of their original paintings/drawings/gifts at home brunch made by them, a 15 minute walk w/everyone, then lounge in the nearby native botanic garden and do nothing while the kids run around and I can watch them. Oh, and world peace. But especially world peace. Then on Monday, I will celebrate #realmothersday and drive to see one of my good friends doing whatever we want and then don't come home until kids are asleep.
Superb plan!
Can I buy this notepad?!
ahhhh if only! it was momfluenced merch!
I’m going with my husband to a BBQ restaurant because he’s not crazy about BBQ & not otherwise easy to convince😛
I am a mum of 3 boys. I've said I want to go get a massage and would love a nice meal with my fam (my husband is a great cook). I get a lot of psychic pressure from my Mum who lives 90 minutes drive away to celebrate her and circle her. I sent her something in the mail this year and said I'm staying put at home
cheers for boundaries!
I'm sleeping in, my family is getting my breakfast (bagels, super easy) and then we're all seeing a movie before coming home to nap and ordering in for dinner. Bliss.
I want that notepad!
Husband had to travel for work on the holiday proper so ahead of Mother’s Day we got childcare and spent the day together.