Honestly, she sounds really tone deaf. Like intentionally tone deaf. And isn't the whole point of a memoir "self-reflection?" So if she's not really doing that in the memoir, what is she doing? Not dealing with her participation in both wellness culture and influencing. Instead just saying, "you don't like something, make different choices." It's a really dismissive take.
I never followed her. I just listened to her talk about ditching influencing on a few podcasts. And it always felt a bit disingenuous. Like she missed the pressure of everything but not the profit.
It seems like she hasn't really figured out who she is yet or what she wants so she's just using this book as a way to stay relevant until she does.
I find it interesting that she’s angry with the body freedom community. As I have slowly deconstructed from anti-fat beliefs they have been so critical in helping evaluate how anti-fat beliefs/ messing, double so for people of color, are in everything. I’ve had a lot of conversations about exercise in particular. Often asking, are you moving your body to punish it with the end goal of weight loss, or moving it because you want to move? This community really won’t let folks get away with bs, wrapped up gooey, girl power bs. They’ll call out beliefs and systems that harmful to women. IMO, this feels like a money grab with a *slight* less emphasis on wellness.
As I was reading, I fell into a memory of similarly irreconcilable experiences. Something feeling so wrong also delivering impressive, moving clarity and skill, touching my most valued morals and lodestars. The incoherence made me feel crazy and obsessed. But in that memory, there was a through line. My reactions to it were only a byproduct of the hidden core story, in which I was a stock character. Which is maddening, and makes me then feel grief. Tilghman’s incoherence seems in the same mold. This essay’s last line—what a last line—may well be her core story.
I also think of Barbie. The high heel or the Birkenstock choice. Maybe it’s that simple and disappointing. Tilghman just wanted the heels. And culture shifted, MAHA ascendant, so as a being of pure culture she is doing what powerful pretty wealthy white women are doing right now. Being obtuse and loving it. I wonder if she reads Evie.
Never heard of this person until now. She reads as naive. A partially formed human who got “famous.” A nice example of how “problematic” influencers can be and how I don’t want my 14 year following any of them, ever.
After your chat/thread, I listened to the Kate interview and I also loved it.
We’ve all seen many many influencers just kind of leave/quit/be cancelled and then I’m always curious about what happens next?!
Now we have an answer and having the answer is truly unsatisfying.
The only way to know what an ex-influencer does next is for them to come back online, and honestly that’s the last thing I want them to do (for their own mental health!)
But also, I get it on a human level. When your whole professional life has been “connecting” online and being admired/followed/“liked”…how do you walk away?! How do you build a self NOT based on being perceived? THAT is what I want a memoir about!
Thank you for this. Is there a way to participate in online culture without being absorbed into its performance logic. Is there space for authenticity that doesn’t collapse into a new style of influence—or are we all just picking which performance costume feels least itchy at the moment? Ahhh---love an essay that stirs up good questions.
Honestly, she sounds really tone deaf. Like intentionally tone deaf. And isn't the whole point of a memoir "self-reflection?" So if she's not really doing that in the memoir, what is she doing? Not dealing with her participation in both wellness culture and influencing. Instead just saying, "you don't like something, make different choices." It's a really dismissive take.
I never followed her. I just listened to her talk about ditching influencing on a few podcasts. And it always felt a bit disingenuous. Like she missed the pressure of everything but not the profit.
It seems like she hasn't really figured out who she is yet or what she wants so she's just using this book as a way to stay relevant until she does.
I find it interesting that she’s angry with the body freedom community. As I have slowly deconstructed from anti-fat beliefs they have been so critical in helping evaluate how anti-fat beliefs/ messing, double so for people of color, are in everything. I’ve had a lot of conversations about exercise in particular. Often asking, are you moving your body to punish it with the end goal of weight loss, or moving it because you want to move? This community really won’t let folks get away with bs, wrapped up gooey, girl power bs. They’ll call out beliefs and systems that harmful to women. IMO, this feels like a money grab with a *slight* less emphasis on wellness.
As I was reading, I fell into a memory of similarly irreconcilable experiences. Something feeling so wrong also delivering impressive, moving clarity and skill, touching my most valued morals and lodestars. The incoherence made me feel crazy and obsessed. But in that memory, there was a through line. My reactions to it were only a byproduct of the hidden core story, in which I was a stock character. Which is maddening, and makes me then feel grief. Tilghman’s incoherence seems in the same mold. This essay’s last line—what a last line—may well be her core story.
I also think of Barbie. The high heel or the Birkenstock choice. Maybe it’s that simple and disappointing. Tilghman just wanted the heels. And culture shifted, MAHA ascendant, so as a being of pure culture she is doing what powerful pretty wealthy white women are doing right now. Being obtuse and loving it. I wonder if she reads Evie.
I just looked at her IG and it’s low key CRINGE. Just no. Carrot maxing? This is the end of humanity. She needs help.
lots and lots and lots of carrots
Never heard of this person until now. She reads as naive. A partially formed human who got “famous.” A nice example of how “problematic” influencers can be and how I don’t want my 14 year following any of them, ever.
After your chat/thread, I listened to the Kate interview and I also loved it.
We’ve all seen many many influencers just kind of leave/quit/be cancelled and then I’m always curious about what happens next?!
Now we have an answer and having the answer is truly unsatisfying.
The only way to know what an ex-influencer does next is for them to come back online, and honestly that’s the last thing I want them to do (for their own mental health!)
But also, I get it on a human level. When your whole professional life has been “connecting” online and being admired/followed/“liked”…how do you walk away?! How do you build a self NOT based on being perceived? THAT is what I want a memoir about!
Thank you for this. Is there a way to participate in online culture without being absorbed into its performance logic. Is there space for authenticity that doesn’t collapse into a new style of influence—or are we all just picking which performance costume feels least itchy at the moment? Ahhh---love an essay that stirs up good questions.