In Pursuit of Clean Countertops

In Pursuit of Clean Countertops

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In Pursuit of Clean Countertops
In Pursuit of Clean Countertops
The Gift Of The Raw Milkmaid
Weekly WTF

The Gift Of The Raw Milkmaid

The Historical Accuracy Of Evie’s Ballerina Farm-Inspired Milkmaid Dress

Sara Petersen's avatar
Sara Petersen
Dec 18, 2024
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In Pursuit of Clean Countertops
In Pursuit of Clean Countertops
The Gift Of The Raw Milkmaid
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I am BEAMING as I write this. Actually grinning with unadulterated glee. I probably look like I’m Zooming with a long lost lover or being told I just won the lottery. BUT NO FRIENDS. Today I’m attempting to put my my racing thoughts about the new Evie RAW MILKMAID DRESS into words. It’s my party and you’re all invited.

Friend of the newsletter,

caro claire burke
alerted me to the potential of an Evie/Ballerina Farm dress sartorial collab earlier this week. She kindly and thoughtfully sent me this utterly perfect image, which I shall treasure always.

Because the print is TINY, let me help you out.

“Raw milk from healthy cows has lots of enzymes, probiotics, and vitamins. It tastes richer and creamier, and it’s easier to digest. But in some states, raw milk is illegal. So if you can’t drink it, at least dress like you do by wearing the Raw Milkmaid Dress.”

And then!!!!! “Warning: Wearing this dress may get you arrested for being too hot.”

I AM SO DELIGHTED WITH THIS COPY GUYS.

Before I continue, definitely listen to

caro claire burke
and
Katie Gatti Tassin
break down this now deleted Instagram story (truly RIP) on their podcast,
Diabolical Lies
. It’s so good.

Diabolical Lies
Evie Magazine, Ballerina Farm, & the Yassification of Christian Nationalism
Evie Magazine bills itself as a “Cosmopolitan for conservatives,” but is that the best description for this editorial mission? Spoiler alert: No! Today’s sprawling conversation explores every nook and cranny of this dumpster fire of a “media company,” as well as the…
Listen now
6 months ago · 71 likes · 38 comments · caro claire burke and Katie Gatti Tassin

ANYWAY. The MAHA framing of raw milk as a superfood? Glorious. The idea that DRESSING LIKE A RAW MILK STAN somehow involves an inordinate amount of cleavage and a fake fucking corset? CHEF’S KISS. The gentle little libertarian nod to the legality and FREEDOM of raw milk consumption? Beautiful. And then the sentence that truly could’ve been written with more grace by a Captain Underpants-loving kindergartener and honestly might have been written by a cast member of Jackass: “This dress may get you arrested for being too hot.” EVIE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NEVER CHANGE.

Tragically, this ad never made it to the Evie Insta grid, and the official association with Ballerina Farm turns out to be a mere pipe dream. But fear not all who long to fuck around with areola exposure at preschool pickup, the Evie RAW MILKMAID DRESS is real. And it’s EVERYTHING.

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