The Gift Of The Raw Milkmaid
The Historical Accuracy Of Evie’s Ballerina Farm-Inspired Milkmaid Dress
I am BEAMING as I write this. Actually grinning with unadulterated glee. I probably look like I’m Zooming with a long lost lover or being told I just won the lottery. BUT NO FRIENDS. Today I’m attempting to put my my racing thoughts about the new Evie RAW MILKMAID DRESS into words. It’s my party and you’re all invited.
Friend of the newsletter,
alerted me to the potential of an Evie/Ballerina Farm dress sartorial collab earlier this week. She kindly and thoughtfully sent me this utterly perfect image, which I shall treasure always.
Because the print is TINY, let me help you out.
“Raw milk from healthy cows has lots of enzymes, probiotics, and vitamins. It tastes richer and creamier, and it’s easier to digest. But in some states, raw milk is illegal. So if you can’t drink it, at least dress like you do by wearing the Raw Milkmaid Dress.”
And then!!!!! “Warning: Wearing this dress may get you arrested for being too hot.”
I AM SO DELIGHTED WITH THIS COPY GUYS.
Before I continue, definitely listen to
and break down this now deleted Instagram story (truly RIP) on their podcast, . It’s so good.
ANYWAY. The MAHA framing of raw milk as a superfood? Glorious. The idea that DRESSING LIKE A RAW MILK STAN somehow involves an inordinate amount of cleavage and a fake fucking corset? CHEF’S KISS. The gentle little libertarian nod to the legality and FREEDOM of raw milk consumption? Beautiful. And then the sentence that truly could’ve been written with more grace by a Captain Underpants-loving kindergartener and honestly might have been written by a cast member of Jackass: “This dress may get you arrested for being too hot.” EVIE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NEVER CHANGE.
Tragically, this ad never made it to the Evie Insta grid, and the official association with Ballerina Farm turns out to be a mere pipe dream. But fear not all who long to fuck around with areola exposure at preschool pickup, the Evie RAW MILKMAID DRESS is real. And it’s EVERYTHING.
