Who are your co-parents?

A love letter to the many people helping me raise my kids

For me, one of the most difficult parts of the Covid lockdown was the fact that Brett and I became not only our children’s sole caregivers, but also their sole parents. Yes, I am my kids’ mother and Brett is their father, but the school librarian models patience, the soccer coach encourages them, the babysitter plays pretend, the uncle launches them into the ocean, the teachers know the subtleties of their silences and their facial expressions, parents of friends remind them to say “thank you,” the aunt takes them back-to-school shopping, the school cooks nourish their bodies, the grandparents hold them. Communities raise children and it’s a good thing for everyone involved that it takes a village.

A beloved member of our village is moving which means he will no longer be a daily fixture in our lives. Bob is our bus driver and has been ever since my two older kids started elementary school. He’s kind, patient, adores Christmas carols, and knows everyone’s names. He knows baby names, pet names, grandparent names. He gives kids a thumbs-up to indicate it’s safe to board. He always always always tells me to have a great day after picking up my kids, and I always believe it’s more possible than it was before he told me to have a great day. As soon as my kids reported that Bob was moving to be closer to his grandkids, we’ve been dreading his last day, and today was that day. I have NEVER seen my children put more thought, care, effort, or time into hand-made cards. Not for my birthday, not for Father’s day, not for any holiday.

LOOK AT THIS CARD. SOB EMOJI. HEART EMOJI.

I cried when my kids offered their cards to Bob and Bob cried upon receiving them. American individualism and the cult of the nuclear family too often tricks us into believing we are solely responsible for our children’s wellbeing and who are children turn out to be, but this simply isn’t true. I’m deeply grateful for every single co-parent in my village, so I’d love to know, who makes your life (and your kids’ lives) richer?