The three questions make it seem like one third of being a mom is all about "treating yourself" and while I know self care is important, this emphasis on "treating" myself "after a long day of #momlife" is just another way to make me feel like a failure as a mother. I have a 2 and a 4 year old. I can barely get them to bed, clean the kitchen, make lunches, fold laundry, and maybe read for 6 minutes (currently reading Momfluenced!) before passing out...but it's another failure of a day because I forgot to treat myself. Fuck you.
My mum calls me a super mum and Iām like š¤® However, one time many years ago my then-toddler was running too fast down a hill and I managed to catch up with him and catch him mid air as he fell over. I heard some teenage boys nearby call me a super mum and I was like YES I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE SAW THAT and that is the only time I will enjoy that word š
I'll never forget reading an online mom question board (Babycenter, maybe? Circa 2001, my kids are older) and a mom asked how to get her husband to 'help' with the baby, she just wanted to go to lunch with a friend or get her nails done. And the response from about 75 percent of the women was 'YOUR FREE TIME DAYS ARE OVER NOW, YOU ARE A MOM'. It was horrifying. Women literally saying 'how dare you, all your time must be spent on your kids', not to mention the audacity of asking her husband to 'help' with his own child.
There were enough of us pushing back that yes, you deserve time to yourself and yes, your husband needs to spend time with the baby alone (I worked retail, on weekends it was learn by doing for my husband as daycare was closed) that at least the narrative was countered somewhat.
But boy, "I don't do anything for myself ever, and that's a good thing" is a pervasive thought.
Goddammit, have I learned nothing? I read your description of the Super Mom and still thought "I want to be her". I still want to live up to an impossible ideal. Instagram has got me good. š¤¦š»āāļø
I just want to say - you (both Sara and the people that comment and resonate with these posts) all are the moms I have been looking for. I have felt seen so little in the world of mom stuff and mom culture that in my head I have really just rejected it all. So thank you!
The three questions make it seem like one third of being a mom is all about "treating yourself" and while I know self care is important, this emphasis on "treating" myself "after a long day of #momlife" is just another way to make me feel like a failure as a mother. I have a 2 and a 4 year old. I can barely get them to bed, clean the kitchen, make lunches, fold laundry, and maybe read for 6 minutes (currently reading Momfluenced!) before passing out...but it's another failure of a day because I forgot to treat myself. Fuck you.
My mum calls me a super mum and Iām like š¤® However, one time many years ago my then-toddler was running too fast down a hill and I managed to catch up with him and catch him mid air as he fell over. I heard some teenage boys nearby call me a super mum and I was like YES I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE SAW THAT and that is the only time I will enjoy that word š
Those responses to āhow do you treat yourselfā are... so fucking bleak.
Just subscribed to post this comment!
I'll never forget reading an online mom question board (Babycenter, maybe? Circa 2001, my kids are older) and a mom asked how to get her husband to 'help' with the baby, she just wanted to go to lunch with a friend or get her nails done. And the response from about 75 percent of the women was 'YOUR FREE TIME DAYS ARE OVER NOW, YOU ARE A MOM'. It was horrifying. Women literally saying 'how dare you, all your time must be spent on your kids', not to mention the audacity of asking her husband to 'help' with his own child.
There were enough of us pushing back that yes, you deserve time to yourself and yes, your husband needs to spend time with the baby alone (I worked retail, on weekends it was learn by doing for my husband as daycare was closed) that at least the narrative was countered somewhat.
But boy, "I don't do anything for myself ever, and that's a good thing" is a pervasive thought.
Goddammit, have I learned nothing? I read your description of the Super Mom and still thought "I want to be her". I still want to live up to an impossible ideal. Instagram has got me good. š¤¦š»āāļø
I just love the idea of a competition where all but one mom gets explicitly told they are a loser and NOT a super mom.
The thought of answering āIs __ a Super momā stresses me out...
I just want to say - you (both Sara and the people that comment and resonate with these posts) all are the moms I have been looking for. I have felt seen so little in the world of mom stuff and mom culture that in my head I have really just rejected it all. So thank you!