Ballerina Farm Lands On My Home Turf
Dabbles with madness!
Official Ship’s Log, S.S. Fortnight Sans Childcare Voyageur
Date: Tuesday, June 18th, 2024
Time: Who can say?
Destination: June 24th, 9 AM EST, Wilderness Adventure Camp
Time at Sea: ten days and counting (BUT WHO IS?!)
Passengers: One five-year-old who wants you to see (no really watch) him get the ball in the hoop from all the way over here.
Crew: One 42-year-old who is becoming increasingly unhinged as she tries to steer a ship singlehandedly while also forming cohesive thoughts in the form of a functioning newsletter and/or writing career.
Observations of Note
In addition to perfecting her grilled cheese game (melt some butter in a cast iron skillet before placing cheese slices in their obvious positions between two slices of bread, coat the top of the sandwich with mayonnaise before sliding the un-coated bottom of the sandwich onto the melted butter), the Captain has become alarmingly obsessed with eradicating pricker bushes (that is their official botanical name) from a field behind her house instead of using her precious free hours to do anything productive in the name of parenting or writing.
Prior to helming the S.S. Fortnight Sans Childcare Voyageur, the Captain spend several years invested in researching a particular Mormon momfluencer/beauty queen/rancher, and was startled to discover that that very same object of study would be visiting the Captain’s HOME COAST. This discovery has caused the Captain to spend ungodly hours contemplating the following about the Neelemans’ visit to Boston and Maine, which will be included in the Captain’s own words below. Content warning: flights of fancy, delusions of grandeur, and incoherent run-on sentences about weed.