My brother and his family live in Orlando, so when our daughter was 5, we planned a visit to take her to Disney. My brother said “leave the planning to me, we do Disney a lot, we know all the tricks.”
And what were “the tricks”?
1-Know someone that can get guest passes for free or a discounted rate.
2-Never wait in a line. Just walk up the lightning pass lane confidently like you have the pass. 99% of the time, they waved us through. The 1% that stopped us were charmed by my brother saying “it’s my birthday (this was true) and my niece’s first time at Disney. Please?”
3- Pack your own food and drink in the stroller.
That’s it. Use your white man privilege and good looks and connections. A lot like real life. My rule-following self felt bad going along with it….but also…did it anyway. 😬
This was wonderful. Let me just say that I ❤️ Walt Disney World (WDW, obvi), but like am completely aware of how insane it all is. I know enough to know that I know nothing and so have waited until we could afford to financially outsource that shit and use a travel agent whose literal job is to translate all that bull shit for me and wake up at 4 in the morning to make my reservations 2 months in advance. IT’S A SCAM. And I also love it 🤣 But I will die on the hill of we do NOT have to optimize every moment and do everything. That is the best way to ruin a family trip and make some really negative core memories imo. I absolutely loathe people who operate like this, so I was not yet familiar with this particular influencer. I pray my algorithm never sends her my way.
I loved every line of this and cannot stop thinking 1) that some investigative journalist needs to look into momfluencer careers as tax write-offs for wealthy families and 2) Tara Mohr's use of "whiteboard." Mohr writes, "designing at the whiteboard is any...creative process that you pursue in isolation—without feedback from the people you are trying to reach with your creation." Is the audience the kids? The followers? Or Raybould herself?
I successfuly reared four kids (who are now in their 30s) without ever going to Disney even though I was raised in Central Florida and their grandparents were still living there. We went to Florida but we never went to Disney. You can do this too!
This was so timely for me Sara! Thank you! We are going for the first time with our 8yo in 10 days time and I have not engaged with it one iota so have nothing booked apart from our hotel. I alternate from feeling stressed as I am so clueless about it all and it’s an extortionate amount of money which I should surely be putting to the best use (character breakfasts?!) to feeling that it doesn’t matter, we can take it easy. I am certainly not cramming in a million things. That sounds WAY too exhausting!!!
Even just the whole idea of now having to do research to find out tips for doing Disney - sometimes everything just feels like so much never ending work! Am sure it was simpler back in the day before the internet and phones etc.
Anyway thank you again for making me laugh today. I needed that!
We decided to skip character breakfasts in favor of running into characters and waiting in line for the Princesses. One thing we did do is buy Little Golden Books of various Disney stories and have a Sharpie ready to get characters' autographs. The characters usually do special things, like Pluto did a paw print, and the Princesses did fancy writing. Not sure if your child would be interested, but it is a great keepsake!
My kids are grown-ass adults now and I haven't been to Disneyworld since I was 22. I'm so glad. If DW is your jam -- go for it! But I am deeply horrified by the ability to buy your way at of any inconvinience. Everyone should have to stand in the line. Everyone.
But of course if you're rich and white and skinny those rules don't apply to you.
Don't mind me -- I'm having a bad case of bloodless coup d'etat this week. It's making me really miserable.
I grew up in Southern California and did orchestra, which meant I got to go to the original Disneyland on a weekday several times. Highly recommend. Practically the only way it’s worth it. And that’s how you let your kids have the best time at Disneyland. Push them to do hand or orchestra in middle and/or high school. That’s how you maximize your time at the magic kingdom. For free.
I have to admit, Disneyland does make other amusement parks and theme parks seem kind of mid, but even though my kids are learning about the Disney universe (and feeling peer pressure to report their Disneyland and Universal Studios experiences), they are honestly just as happy at home or at a park. I have the incredible privilege of having a Disney employee as a family member which means we sometimes get to go for free, but I am seriously thinking of boycotting Disneyland over their retraction of DEI.
This stressed me out just reading about it 😅 I have not taken my kids to Disney/Orlando and told them we could either go there or go to Hawaii in a few years...lucky for me, they chose Hawaii.
I was amazed by how many of the rides were the same as when I was a kid - Magic Kingdom anyway. Like they still have Dumbo, and the one where they play It’s a Small World After All. Where is my money going?? They haven’t swapped out Dumbo for Frozen by now? Second, my jaw dropped at the number of people with babies and toddlers. You could not PAY me to do Disney with a 1 or 2-year-old. Are they high? Do they hate themselves and feel they deserve punishment? We gave up on short weekend trips with our kids they traveled so badly at that age…. Who is walking 10+ miles a day and doing naps and diaper changes and WAITING IN LINE ….. ??!! We have a family policy of “don’t push it” while traveling. Push to hard, the kids - and adults - lose it and the whole day (or week) blows sky high. We took it easy at Disney and it went pretty well.
yeah like the ammunt of people wearing literal infants was equally astounding to me! my entire body ached just imagining it! omg and WHAT THE FUCK re: small world - did you happen to look up at the ceiling??? the whole thing seemed so rickety and on the verge of collapse.
I thank god we went to Disneyland when my kids were little and we lived in NorCal, circa 2010. I think they had Fast Pass, but I don't think we paid for it? And you could buy gift cards for Disney at the grocery store or Costco at a (very slight) savings. The second time we stayed at a decent motel that was literally across the street from the entrance, which was amazing. And we were at the park at opening because California Adventure is a whole other park and you can go between the two and we only had two days to do both.
But the most important thing to understand is that the first time we went my kids freaked the F out at EVERY.SINGLE.THING. They screamed and cried on the Jungle Cruise so the operator literally cut the ride short by avoiding a whole section (sorry, other family!). They screamed and cried on the Finding Nemo submarine. They screamed and cried on WINNIE THE POOH as giant neon doors of Pooh and Eyore swung their way. Maybe they liked It's a Small World? Dumbo was also ok, and maybe Toy Story. By the way, they were 7 and 5.
I would like to add that I don't have children myself but I do live in Florida and there are an alarming amount of Disney Adults here that have season passes and go to the Disney Multiplex for any and all celebrations. I, because I am a childless cat lady or something, have not been to the MK since the summer I turned twelve, 1989. I don't feel like I'm missing anything.
THIS!! We went with our kids (8 & 6 at the time) last year and I was really intrigued to see the in-person appeal for Disney adults and... I couldn't. I didn't. I was perplexed. I don't get what feels so magical as an adult there - I don't want to yuck others yum at ALL - we all need joy, especially now, but I was bummed to not crack that code LOL
I am so tired and overstimulated by reading this. And it's also incredibly entertaining.
You are a gift, Sara!
My brother and his family live in Orlando, so when our daughter was 5, we planned a visit to take her to Disney. My brother said “leave the planning to me, we do Disney a lot, we know all the tricks.”
And what were “the tricks”?
1-Know someone that can get guest passes for free or a discounted rate.
2-Never wait in a line. Just walk up the lightning pass lane confidently like you have the pass. 99% of the time, they waved us through. The 1% that stopped us were charmed by my brother saying “it’s my birthday (this was true) and my niece’s first time at Disney. Please?”
3- Pack your own food and drink in the stroller.
That’s it. Use your white man privilege and good looks and connections. A lot like real life. My rule-following self felt bad going along with it….but also…did it anyway. 😬
OMG, this was precisely what I needed to read this morning. Yes, yes, all of this. Time to go enjoy my soft animal body and not achieve anything now.
This was wonderful. Let me just say that I ❤️ Walt Disney World (WDW, obvi), but like am completely aware of how insane it all is. I know enough to know that I know nothing and so have waited until we could afford to financially outsource that shit and use a travel agent whose literal job is to translate all that bull shit for me and wake up at 4 in the morning to make my reservations 2 months in advance. IT’S A SCAM. And I also love it 🤣 But I will die on the hill of we do NOT have to optimize every moment and do everything. That is the best way to ruin a family trip and make some really negative core memories imo. I absolutely loathe people who operate like this, so I was not yet familiar with this particular influencer. I pray my algorithm never sends her my way.
I loved every line of this and cannot stop thinking 1) that some investigative journalist needs to look into momfluencer careers as tax write-offs for wealthy families and 2) Tara Mohr's use of "whiteboard." Mohr writes, "designing at the whiteboard is any...creative process that you pursue in isolation—without feedback from the people you are trying to reach with your creation." Is the audience the kids? The followers? Or Raybould herself?
oh that's fascinating! and yeahhhhhhhhh for sure they are not paying for anything re: disney.
We decided a while ago that we would never do Disney. Never. I do not care about making magical Disney memories for my child.
Luckily he's not super into Disney anyway so it's literally never come up.
I successfuly reared four kids (who are now in their 30s) without ever going to Disney even though I was raised in Central Florida and their grandparents were still living there. We went to Florida but we never went to Disney. You can do this too!
This was so timely for me Sara! Thank you! We are going for the first time with our 8yo in 10 days time and I have not engaged with it one iota so have nothing booked apart from our hotel. I alternate from feeling stressed as I am so clueless about it all and it’s an extortionate amount of money which I should surely be putting to the best use (character breakfasts?!) to feeling that it doesn’t matter, we can take it easy. I am certainly not cramming in a million things. That sounds WAY too exhausting!!!
Even just the whole idea of now having to do research to find out tips for doing Disney - sometimes everything just feels like so much never ending work! Am sure it was simpler back in the day before the internet and phones etc.
Anyway thank you again for making me laugh today. I needed that!
We decided to skip character breakfasts in favor of running into characters and waiting in line for the Princesses. One thing we did do is buy Little Golden Books of various Disney stories and have a Sharpie ready to get characters' autographs. The characters usually do special things, like Pluto did a paw print, and the Princesses did fancy writing. Not sure if your child would be interested, but it is a great keepsake!
Thank you so much, Pam!
My kids are grown-ass adults now and I haven't been to Disneyworld since I was 22. I'm so glad. If DW is your jam -- go for it! But I am deeply horrified by the ability to buy your way at of any inconvinience. Everyone should have to stand in the line. Everyone.
But of course if you're rich and white and skinny those rules don't apply to you.
Don't mind me -- I'm having a bad case of bloodless coup d'etat this week. It's making me really miserable.
"Use your make believe mommy money to buy into the myth that America is a meritocracy." 💯
Also, Carlo Rossi FTW!
Brutal and perfect
I grew up in Southern California and did orchestra, which meant I got to go to the original Disneyland on a weekday several times. Highly recommend. Practically the only way it’s worth it. And that’s how you let your kids have the best time at Disneyland. Push them to do hand or orchestra in middle and/or high school. That’s how you maximize your time at the magic kingdom. For free.
I have to admit, Disneyland does make other amusement parks and theme parks seem kind of mid, but even though my kids are learning about the Disney universe (and feeling peer pressure to report their Disneyland and Universal Studios experiences), they are honestly just as happy at home or at a park. I have the incredible privilege of having a Disney employee as a family member which means we sometimes get to go for free, but I am seriously thinking of boycotting Disneyland over their retraction of DEI.
This stressed me out just reading about it 😅 I have not taken my kids to Disney/Orlando and told them we could either go there or go to Hawaii in a few years...lucky for me, they chose Hawaii.
to be clear, it SHOULD stress you out just reading about it lol.
I was amazed by how many of the rides were the same as when I was a kid - Magic Kingdom anyway. Like they still have Dumbo, and the one where they play It’s a Small World After All. Where is my money going?? They haven’t swapped out Dumbo for Frozen by now? Second, my jaw dropped at the number of people with babies and toddlers. You could not PAY me to do Disney with a 1 or 2-year-old. Are they high? Do they hate themselves and feel they deserve punishment? We gave up on short weekend trips with our kids they traveled so badly at that age…. Who is walking 10+ miles a day and doing naps and diaper changes and WAITING IN LINE ….. ??!! We have a family policy of “don’t push it” while traveling. Push to hard, the kids - and adults - lose it and the whole day (or week) blows sky high. We took it easy at Disney and it went pretty well.
yeah like the ammunt of people wearing literal infants was equally astounding to me! my entire body ached just imagining it! omg and WHAT THE FUCK re: small world - did you happen to look up at the ceiling??? the whole thing seemed so rickety and on the verge of collapse.
*amount
I thank god we went to Disneyland when my kids were little and we lived in NorCal, circa 2010. I think they had Fast Pass, but I don't think we paid for it? And you could buy gift cards for Disney at the grocery store or Costco at a (very slight) savings. The second time we stayed at a decent motel that was literally across the street from the entrance, which was amazing. And we were at the park at opening because California Adventure is a whole other park and you can go between the two and we only had two days to do both.
But the most important thing to understand is that the first time we went my kids freaked the F out at EVERY.SINGLE.THING. They screamed and cried on the Jungle Cruise so the operator literally cut the ride short by avoiding a whole section (sorry, other family!). They screamed and cried on the Finding Nemo submarine. They screamed and cried on WINNIE THE POOH as giant neon doors of Pooh and Eyore swung their way. Maybe they liked It's a Small World? Dumbo was also ok, and maybe Toy Story. By the way, they were 7 and 5.
Parades, Princesses and characters FTW!
She scares me.
OMG this was so so so good
I would like to add that I don't have children myself but I do live in Florida and there are an alarming amount of Disney Adults here that have season passes and go to the Disney Multiplex for any and all celebrations. I, because I am a childless cat lady or something, have not been to the MK since the summer I turned twelve, 1989. I don't feel like I'm missing anything.
[whispers] it's not *that* magical!
THIS!! We went with our kids (8 & 6 at the time) last year and I was really intrigued to see the in-person appeal for Disney adults and... I couldn't. I didn't. I was perplexed. I don't get what feels so magical as an adult there - I don't want to yuck others yum at ALL - we all need joy, especially now, but I was bummed to not crack that code LOL