I love this: "In my family, I signed up to make sure my family always has clean laundry, not that they never have dirty laundry." It's such a great re-framing. FWIW, this year I was often too busy with work to do any laundry during the week, so I didn't, and then magically, other people in the household started doing it! Granted, my kids are older (11 and 8) but sometimes my 11yo would say "this shirt I want to wear tomorrow is dirty, I guess I'll do laundry?" So .... failing in my domestic "duties" has actually been a win, it turns out, because it is teaching my kids (and, ahem, partner) some important life skills!
I can't even put into words how much this meant to me, reading this. I had to work two jobs most of the time as a single mom, and the "free time" I had left after that was a mad scramble to try to keep up with housework, laundry, etc. And it was never enough! I always felt like a "bad" mom, because my efforts could never match up to what other (better) moms did. And that was before momfluencers!!! I probably would have slashed my wrists if I'd had to deal with them back then.
This made me tear up in three or four different places — I don’t think I’d even acknowledged to myself how much I’ve been holding onto “good mother” bullshit standards around what my house looks like or whether I’m allowed to rest. So many helpful reframings! Thank you both for the awesome conversation.
I love this: "In my family, I signed up to make sure my family always has clean laundry, not that they never have dirty laundry." It's such a great re-framing. FWIW, this year I was often too busy with work to do any laundry during the week, so I didn't, and then magically, other people in the household started doing it! Granted, my kids are older (11 and 8) but sometimes my 11yo would say "this shirt I want to wear tomorrow is dirty, I guess I'll do laundry?" So .... failing in my domestic "duties" has actually been a win, it turns out, because it is teaching my kids (and, ahem, partner) some important life skills!
I can't even put into words how much this meant to me, reading this. I had to work two jobs most of the time as a single mom, and the "free time" I had left after that was a mad scramble to try to keep up with housework, laundry, etc. And it was never enough! I always felt like a "bad" mom, because my efforts could never match up to what other (better) moms did. And that was before momfluencers!!! I probably would have slashed my wrists if I'd had to deal with them back then.
This made me tear up in three or four different places — I don’t think I’d even acknowledged to myself how much I’ve been holding onto “good mother” bullshit standards around what my house looks like or whether I’m allowed to rest. So many helpful reframings! Thank you both for the awesome conversation.