Katie Britt and me are the same, really
We both have kitchen tables
I’m sitting here at my kitchen table, where I spend most of my time skewering the words of my enemies, trying to process the Republican rebuttal to the State of the Union.
I am the author of Momfluenced: Inside the Maddening, Picture-Perfect World of Mommy Influencer Culture (which you can preorder in paperback HERE!), and have written about motherhood and feminism for The New York Times, Harper’s Bazaar, The Cut, and elsewhere.
HOWEVER, that’s not the job that matters most. My cultural criticism of racist, misogynist constructs of American motherhood are one thing, but my role as beloved WIFE and cherished MOTHER matter far more than anything that’s ever sprung forth from my pretty little brain.
And it’s as a WIFE and as a MOTHER that I watched Katie Britt’s audition tape for Real Stepford Wives of Washington DC, and it’s as a WIFE and MOTHER that I found myself feeling worried about my children’s future (particularly my daughter Lakeview’s future).
Just last week, I sat Lakeview down at the very kitchen table I’m sitting at now to have a tough conversation about Stanley water bottles. And today, I can wholeheartedly say (from my kitchen table) that I agree with my pal Katie that “the American family needs to have a tough conversation.”
Like Katie, I too grew up with parents who worked in appropriately gendered jobs. My mother was a stay-at-home mom who sold aprons needlepointed with Phyllis Schlafly quotes and my father was a carpenter who ran a paleo steakhouse on the weekends. Like Katie, I understand that “real families” look a certain way and adhere to the gender norms God meant them to adhere to.
You see, Katie is right when she says that “the American dream has turned into a nightmare,” but she’s wrong to imply that the American dream was ever NOT a nightmare for the various people who weren’t rich white cis-het men throughout the many years of America’s bloody history. Upward mobility and the myth of meritocracy is all well and good, as long as it’s only available for those of us who already have access to generational wealth, white privilege, and male privilege.
Katie is also right when she sorrowfully references the “empty chairs at kitchen tables just like this one” (both mine AND hers! We both have kitchen tables! We’re THE SAME), but those chairs aren’t empty because of murderous migrants and an epidemic of sex trafficking, they’re empty because of the prison industrial complex, they’re empty because of police violence, and they’re empty because of exorbitant housing costs.
And in my house, they’re empty because it’s more comfortable to eat on the couch in front of the TV.
While many of Katie’s fear-mongering talking points made me feel a little like this ⬇️
I found myself nodding in emphatic agreement when Katie referenced America’s “sky high childcare costs.” I also found common ground with Katie when she decried the story of a man who couldn’t afford to pay his medical bills. Surely, my kitchen table and I thought to ourselves, Katie and HER kitchen table will mention the need for federally mandated paid family leave, subsidized childcare, universal preschool, and tax credits for families. SURELY Kelly [the kitchen table] will tell Katie the [alleged] human that healthcare is a human right and we need medicare for all? Right? Right?!?!?!?!?!?!
Alas, Katie’s fix for income inequality, the lack of a social safety net, and the inability for people to access healthcare is an imaginative blend of moral panic, racist anxiety, “conquering the minds of our next generation,” “taming the wild,” BENDING THE MORAL ARC OF THE UNIVERSE, an artful reference to Glennon Doyle’s “hard things,” and OF COURSE, birthing more white babies!
WE ARE STEEPED IN THE BLOOD OF PATRIOTS! Policy shmolicy.
But ladies! Lest you forget, Katie has a kitchen table and SO DO I. If you too have a kitchen table, put aside your petty differences and your belief in a sane world, and join me in finding a way to join both Katie and me in the arena. Because how can we communicate if not with violent metaphors?!
