I agree so hard with all of this. I also think it goes hand-in-hand with the anti-abortion backlash that’s been happening for several years now.
If you get pregnant, that opens the door to an established identity. You will get a lot of admiration and flattery and affection (along with some very particular hatred.) You will get some special treatment.
You also now have a purpose to organize your life around (at least for a few years) if you haven’t happened to find an external one. No need to go soul-searching.
And exactly, as you point out, you don’t have to reckon with the outside world that hates “careerwomen,” feminists, etc. You don’t have to cope with misogynist or predatory superiors and co-workers, fight for recognition and salary, the absence of mentors, etc.
Who wouldn’t want to opt out sometimes and just get knocked up?
And all this without yet comprehending the incalculable loss of freedom and agency that comes (for most) with parenthood. It’s absolutely tragic.
Wow reading this comment really resonated with me - I am older - 51 yo Gen X - but spent my 20s and early 30s trying to run a woman owned business and constantly struggling against something. As an A student in college and HS - I think the relief I felt when I became pregnant at 35 was that finally I was doing something successfully, and all the attention and joy directed at me for this from friends and family felt so good for a change. Now I would focus on the baby - and no one would expect any more than that.
It’s really interesting for me as a cis-gendered women in that I play at parts of prescribed feminity. I love to wear styled 1940s dresses, wedges and makeup. I also have most of my head buzzed, wild colors, and very obvious and large tattoos. The amount of men who comments on my appearance and tell me my hair and tattoos “just ruin the whole package”. The look of shock when I tell them I don’t create my body and looks to make myself more fuckable for them. I love that my hair style in particular turns these men off and they’re so loud about it because I know who to avoid.
Someone on the FundieSnark subreddit posted a series of images from an IG post by Canon Press that was titled “Scott Yenor’s Updated Tradwife Categories” and not only was it AI-generated slop, it was highly illuminating as to where this ideology is moving, at least to me. Canon Press was started by Doug Wilson and is considered a Christian nationalist publishing house, and Scott Yenor is a Christian nationalist, and it’s even more sinister than it sounds. The first category shown is the “side-hustle tradwife” who "brings in income without letting it overwhelm her,” followed by the “trad tradwife” who doesn’t work outside the home, and then there’s the “eras tradwife” who eases herself back into work as her kids get older, magically getting a full-time job when her kids move out. This is to advertise a video on their website called “Side-Hustle Tradwives are Tradwives Too!” and to “reject the feminist framings” (of tradwives, I guess?) and wow, the post is A Lot.
What’s so sinister to me is that these assholes know that the “trad tradwife” category is one that is basically a fantasy for most people, so they’re still conditioning these women into accepting work outside the home. Where it becomes particularly evil is that when they discourage women from obtaining degrees and certificates, they limit these women’s avenues of opportunity which makes them prime marks for the next wave of Zoomer-friendly MLMs. SIGH.
Great read! The point about feminists being less happy is so important!! I think this shows up in a lot of other political activism as well. The cost/benefit of being aware of racism, classism, colonialism etc. doesn't feel worth it when it seems like you have the option to just focus on your immediate world and ignore the outside.
I've been surprised at how many acquaintances in my relatively liberal area are having 3+ children (when I feel like I'm treading water with my 2 everyday!) and kind of leaning into trad life lite. But a (maybe overly cynical??) part of me can't help but wonder if it's just more appealing to be buried in child care responsibilities than to have to deal with the miserable realities of paid employment and all the other problems in the world today.
I’ve frequently joked with my feminist friends, why can’t I be ignorant and not care about people? War? The genocide of Palestine? Roll backs of women’s rights?
Yes this !!!! I think there is a comedian that makes the joke I wish I was MAGA - don’t have to worry about climate change, genocide, voting rights etc. How wonderful that would be
SAME with noticing trad life lite creep into liberal/progressive spaces. I was working at a shared table at my (west coast progressive city) coworking space the other day and these two guys nearby were having a conversation about kids. The older one (late 30s) had them and was encouraging the younger one (early 30s) to have as many as possible as young as possible, just sort of tossing it off as if it was the most common wisdom in the world while the younger guy nodded along. I guess that's fine if everyone's on board but I wanted to scream "AND WHAT DO YOUR WIVES/GIRLFRIENDS THINK OF THIS PLAN"
I agree so hard with all of this. I also think it goes hand-in-hand with the anti-abortion backlash that’s been happening for several years now.
If you get pregnant, that opens the door to an established identity. You will get a lot of admiration and flattery and affection (along with some very particular hatred.) You will get some special treatment.
You also now have a purpose to organize your life around (at least for a few years) if you haven’t happened to find an external one. No need to go soul-searching.
And exactly, as you point out, you don’t have to reckon with the outside world that hates “careerwomen,” feminists, etc. You don’t have to cope with misogynist or predatory superiors and co-workers, fight for recognition and salary, the absence of mentors, etc.
Who wouldn’t want to opt out sometimes and just get knocked up?
And all this without yet comprehending the incalculable loss of freedom and agency that comes (for most) with parenthood. It’s absolutely tragic.
YES - the knowledge that you’re doing the socially approved thing (as a woman) of becoming a mother is so strong ALREADY (it was for me!)
Exactly - and of course the young women never imagine that they might be walking into a decades-long life of reduced finances.
Wow reading this comment really resonated with me - I am older - 51 yo Gen X - but spent my 20s and early 30s trying to run a woman owned business and constantly struggling against something. As an A student in college and HS - I think the relief I felt when I became pregnant at 35 was that finally I was doing something successfully, and all the attention and joy directed at me for this from friends and family felt so good for a change. Now I would focus on the baby - and no one would expect any more than that.
It’s really interesting for me as a cis-gendered women in that I play at parts of prescribed feminity. I love to wear styled 1940s dresses, wedges and makeup. I also have most of my head buzzed, wild colors, and very obvious and large tattoos. The amount of men who comments on my appearance and tell me my hair and tattoos “just ruin the whole package”. The look of shock when I tell them I don’t create my body and looks to make myself more fuckable for them. I love that my hair style in particular turns these men off and they’re so loud about it because I know who to avoid.
Someone on the FundieSnark subreddit posted a series of images from an IG post by Canon Press that was titled “Scott Yenor’s Updated Tradwife Categories” and not only was it AI-generated slop, it was highly illuminating as to where this ideology is moving, at least to me. Canon Press was started by Doug Wilson and is considered a Christian nationalist publishing house, and Scott Yenor is a Christian nationalist, and it’s even more sinister than it sounds. The first category shown is the “side-hustle tradwife” who "brings in income without letting it overwhelm her,” followed by the “trad tradwife” who doesn’t work outside the home, and then there’s the “eras tradwife” who eases herself back into work as her kids get older, magically getting a full-time job when her kids move out. This is to advertise a video on their website called “Side-Hustle Tradwives are Tradwives Too!” and to “reject the feminist framings” (of tradwives, I guess?) and wow, the post is A Lot.
What’s so sinister to me is that these assholes know that the “trad tradwife” category is one that is basically a fantasy for most people, so they’re still conditioning these women into accepting work outside the home. Where it becomes particularly evil is that when they discourage women from obtaining degrees and certificates, they limit these women’s avenues of opportunity which makes them prime marks for the next wave of Zoomer-friendly MLMs. SIGH.
Great read! The point about feminists being less happy is so important!! I think this shows up in a lot of other political activism as well. The cost/benefit of being aware of racism, classism, colonialism etc. doesn't feel worth it when it seems like you have the option to just focus on your immediate world and ignore the outside.
I've been surprised at how many acquaintances in my relatively liberal area are having 3+ children (when I feel like I'm treading water with my 2 everyday!) and kind of leaning into trad life lite. But a (maybe overly cynical??) part of me can't help but wonder if it's just more appealing to be buried in child care responsibilities than to have to deal with the miserable realities of paid employment and all the other problems in the world today.
I’ve frequently joked with my feminist friends, why can’t I be ignorant and not care about people? War? The genocide of Palestine? Roll backs of women’s rights?
Yes this !!!! I think there is a comedian that makes the joke I wish I was MAGA - don’t have to worry about climate change, genocide, voting rights etc. How wonderful that would be
SAME with noticing trad life lite creep into liberal/progressive spaces. I was working at a shared table at my (west coast progressive city) coworking space the other day and these two guys nearby were having a conversation about kids. The older one (late 30s) had them and was encouraging the younger one (early 30s) to have as many as possible as young as possible, just sort of tossing it off as if it was the most common wisdom in the world while the younger guy nodded along. I guess that's fine if everyone's on board but I wanted to scream "AND WHAT DO YOUR WIVES/GIRLFRIENDS THINK OF THIS PLAN"
a;slkdjf;alskdjf;aslkdfj;asdlkfj