Gah. Thank you. How many takes to get that perfect soap bubble shot!! Semi-related: I sometimes feel like these “aesthetically cluttered” Instagrams stress me out even more than the white kitchen/clean countertop Instagrams. Like at least I understand the urge to maintain a blank slate at all times. But this joyful curation of clutter, but only the right clutter, looks SO labor intensive.
I went to this charmer's instagram (WHY) and scrolled for a bit. It reminds me of many other cutesy calico dream life influencers I've seen and been bummed out by. I will tell you one thing though--my daughter raises chickens, and they are NOT all sweetness and light, nor is their shit, which they let loose whenever they feel like it (yes, even when you cuddle them). She might be getting happiness in the everyday, but if she's letting her chickens roam free in the house, she's cleaning up their shit, too, and it is NASTY.
I feel personally victimized by the Mialeg mouse's whimsy. I bought some for my kids hoping for the neutrally pleasant, quiet play experience I imagined in the store, instead I find the mouse smooshed in a corner and his matchbox house crushed under a pile of some other brightly-colored plastic toy
Time is an enormous factor. Chronic burnout is where I’ve been for at least a couple of years. Yes, there is always good. But, yeah these things like “see the joy in every day” are just so out of my ability to experience when I’m dealing with a pantry moth infestation.
It’s a fine line between encouraging healthy mental habits and putting the onus for counteracting an unfair system on each wronged individual. I think about this a lot as a meditation/embodiment teacher specializing in trauma. People often are not responsible for the larger conditions that cause suffering, but thankfully, even in the midst of struggle, there are ways of approaching reality that promote wellbeing. In the literature, mindfulness, awe, humility, and gratitude have all been linked to less burnout, lowered stress, and better physical and mental health outcomes. And it doesn’t necessarily take time from the day. Humans naturally have a negativity bias, and it can take practice and effort to overcome that. I can wash the dishes with a spirit of “I hate this” or even be somewhere else mentally, usually somewhere more stressful, like rehashing a fight or worrying about something in the future. If, instead, I just wash the dishes, and maybe widen my noticing to the appreciation of running water, dishes, food, etc, I can have quite a different physical and emotional experience. And if I’m really distressed about something, I can have my mind whirl while I try to figure it out, or I can meet my own experience with love and curiousity and validate to myself that “this is hard right now.” Buddhist practices like mindfulness and metta (loving kindness) have been practiced for millennia because inclining the mind toward love, compassion, kindness, and joy are sources of wellbeing that can support us even in the midst of crisis and turmoil. But toxic positivity is wallpapers over people’s reality and teaches “I should think good thoughts and then good things will happen to me (and therefore bad things in my life and hard feelings are a moral failing).” This skips right past the acknowledgment, acceptance, and experiencing of truly painful feelings, and blots out the role of unfair systems in causing suffering, and runs the risk of leaving us more ashamed, lonelier, and/or more cut off from ourselves and our lives.
Gah. Thank you. How many takes to get that perfect soap bubble shot!! Semi-related: I sometimes feel like these “aesthetically cluttered” Instagrams stress me out even more than the white kitchen/clean countertop Instagrams. Like at least I understand the urge to maintain a blank slate at all times. But this joyful curation of clutter, but only the right clutter, looks SO labor intensive.
I went to this charmer's instagram (WHY) and scrolled for a bit. It reminds me of many other cutesy calico dream life influencers I've seen and been bummed out by. I will tell you one thing though--my daughter raises chickens, and they are NOT all sweetness and light, nor is their shit, which they let loose whenever they feel like it (yes, even when you cuddle them). She might be getting happiness in the everyday, but if she's letting her chickens roam free in the house, she's cleaning up their shit, too, and it is NASTY.
I feel personally victimized by the Mialeg mouse's whimsy. I bought some for my kids hoping for the neutrally pleasant, quiet play experience I imagined in the store, instead I find the mouse smooshed in a corner and his matchbox house crushed under a pile of some other brightly-colored plastic toy
That's like a thousand bucks in mouse dollhouse goods right there. That shit is expensive!
Time is an enormous factor. Chronic burnout is where I’ve been for at least a couple of years. Yes, there is always good. But, yeah these things like “see the joy in every day” are just so out of my ability to experience when I’m dealing with a pantry moth infestation.
It’s a fine line between encouraging healthy mental habits and putting the onus for counteracting an unfair system on each wronged individual. I think about this a lot as a meditation/embodiment teacher specializing in trauma. People often are not responsible for the larger conditions that cause suffering, but thankfully, even in the midst of struggle, there are ways of approaching reality that promote wellbeing. In the literature, mindfulness, awe, humility, and gratitude have all been linked to less burnout, lowered stress, and better physical and mental health outcomes. And it doesn’t necessarily take time from the day. Humans naturally have a negativity bias, and it can take practice and effort to overcome that. I can wash the dishes with a spirit of “I hate this” or even be somewhere else mentally, usually somewhere more stressful, like rehashing a fight or worrying about something in the future. If, instead, I just wash the dishes, and maybe widen my noticing to the appreciation of running water, dishes, food, etc, I can have quite a different physical and emotional experience. And if I’m really distressed about something, I can have my mind whirl while I try to figure it out, or I can meet my own experience with love and curiousity and validate to myself that “this is hard right now.” Buddhist practices like mindfulness and metta (loving kindness) have been practiced for millennia because inclining the mind toward love, compassion, kindness, and joy are sources of wellbeing that can support us even in the midst of crisis and turmoil. But toxic positivity is wallpapers over people’s reality and teaches “I should think good thoughts and then good things will happen to me (and therefore bad things in my life and hard feelings are a moral failing).” This skips right past the acknowledgment, acceptance, and experiencing of truly painful feelings, and blots out the role of unfair systems in causing suffering, and runs the risk of leaving us more ashamed, lonelier, and/or more cut off from ourselves and our lives.