17 Comments

Gah. Thank you. How many takes to get that perfect soap bubble shot!! Semi-related: I sometimes feel like these “aesthetically cluttered” Instagrams stress me out even more than the white kitchen/clean countertop Instagrams. Like at least I understand the urge to maintain a blank slate at all times. But this joyful curation of clutter, but only the right clutter, looks SO labor intensive.

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Couldn't agree more. I also associate it more with "joy" which continues to be packaged in a certain way as to feel aspirational which is . . . something!

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Agreed. And also, whose joy? Can it really be joyful when she's just pushed aside all her kids broken but beloved toys and random rock collections to make room for the antique kitchen scale.

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Thank you for calling attention to the antique kitchen scale!

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I went to this charmer's instagram (WHY) and scrolled for a bit. It reminds me of many other cutesy calico dream life influencers I've seen and been bummed out by. I will tell you one thing though--my daughter raises chickens, and they are NOT all sweetness and light, nor is their shit, which they let loose whenever they feel like it (yes, even when you cuddle them). She might be getting happiness in the everyday, but if she's letting her chickens roam free in the house, she's cleaning up their shit, too, and it is NASTY.

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I came down here to comment on how gross chickens are too! I have them and love them but they belong outside where they can shit with abandon. They also fight with each other and will kill and dissect small critters (i.e. frog/mouse/lizard) in a most gruesome way. They are nowhere near as twee and cuddly as this gal would have us believe.

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Lol I love the Real Chicken Talk this is inciting.

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They can be assholes to each other--I didn't know this! My daughter purposely got Buff Orpingtons because they were supposed to be like the Golden Retrievers of the chicken world, and the first batch of chicks she got were pretty sweet. The second batch was mostly "mean girls" who tried to separate and gang up on the others! The nicer ones quit laying because they were traumatized. She ended up having to put them in different coops, and run them at different times just to keep peace, and so they would all lay again. She didn't want to kill any of them, which is what several people advised her to do. I sure did NOT know about the critter killing/dissecting!!! So she's cleaning up shit AND crime scenes before her photo shoots!

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Or having her staff clean up the shit and crime scenes! I once witnessed my girls rip a live frog into quarters and then fight over the pieces. I will save for another day the time we found a mama mouse nursing her babies under the water trough at the same time the girls did. 😳😬

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Holy shit, Katie, your chickens are FIERCE!!! You should make an Instagram devoted to the lesser known side of the happiness of chicken raising 🐔🗡😂

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And I didn't even mention the cannibalism yet, lol

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Yikes!!!😱 I wish I wasn't laughing, but I keep picturing the happy sappy videos from this Instagram, and now I'm thinking that that the chickens are diabolical instead of darling! Like it's all just an act, like something out of a horror story 🐔😈😂

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I feel personally victimized by the Mialeg mouse's whimsy. I bought some for my kids hoping for the neutrally pleasant, quiet play experience I imagined in the store, instead I find the mouse smooshed in a corner and his matchbox house crushed under a pile of some other brightly-colored plastic toy

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Same - I basically bought it for myself.

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That's like a thousand bucks in mouse dollhouse goods right there. That shit is expensive!

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Time is an enormous factor. Chronic burnout is where I’ve been for at least a couple of years. Yes, there is always good. But, yeah these things like “see the joy in every day” are just so out of my ability to experience when I’m dealing with a pantry moth infestation.

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It’s a fine line between encouraging healthy mental habits and putting the onus for counteracting an unfair system on each wronged individual. I think about this a lot as a meditation/embodiment teacher specializing in trauma. People often are not responsible for the larger conditions that cause suffering, but thankfully, even in the midst of struggle, there are ways of approaching reality that promote wellbeing. In the literature, mindfulness, awe, humility, and gratitude have all been linked to less burnout, lowered stress, and better physical and mental health outcomes. And it doesn’t necessarily take time from the day. Humans naturally have a negativity bias, and it can take practice and effort to overcome that. I can wash the dishes with a spirit of “I hate this” or even be somewhere else mentally, usually somewhere more stressful, like rehashing a fight or worrying about something in the future. If, instead, I just wash the dishes, and maybe widen my noticing to the appreciation of running water, dishes, food, etc, I can have quite a different physical and emotional experience. And if I’m really distressed about something, I can have my mind whirl while I try to figure it out, or I can meet my own experience with love and curiousity and validate to myself that “this is hard right now.” Buddhist practices like mindfulness and metta (loving kindness) have been practiced for millennia because inclining the mind toward love, compassion, kindness, and joy are sources of wellbeing that can support us even in the midst of crisis and turmoil. But toxic positivity is wallpapers over people’s reality and teaches “I should think good thoughts and then good things will happen to me (and therefore bad things in my life and hard feelings are a moral failing).” This skips right past the acknowledgment, acceptance, and experiencing of truly painful feelings, and blots out the role of unfair systems in causing suffering, and runs the risk of leaving us more ashamed, lonelier, and/or more cut off from ourselves and our lives.

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