I always appreciate the question of how we perform online- I have a lot of rules for myself about how I like to portray myself, but admittedly (because I just use Substack as a creative outlet and I write for free), I don’t think as hard about Substack specifically and am more likely to portray myself in a more “genuine” way than I do on Facebook or Instagram where I know more of the people who follow me. Starting to write more about my husband and our relationship this year was a change for me- writing about being in a politically divided household was hard for me because although I ended up getting over 300 likes on my note, I had some unfortunate responses where people were extremely rude. I didn’t really think that hard about it- I share notes all the time on here and barely anyone sees them or likes them, so it was a new experience for me to navigate that. On Substack I have let myself write more about how I really think more often than usual, and it’s not nearly as curated as my carefully crafted Instagram posts for birthdays/anniversaries.
Love how explicit she is about missing the cashflow. The money is such a huge part of it all (as you wrote about in your book) but it's so often missing from even 'candid' conversations with influencers.
It appears she is...still influencing?! I hadn't heard of Jess and while I found this article really wonderful, when I clicked into her insta handle, she still has a huge following and has photos of her swanning around idyllically with fancy hair no less?! I guess this is a step back from her previous online influencer life?
“And as desperate as I was to show everyone I had figured it out and everything was fine, the person I was trying to convince the most was myself.” Whooooof, what an incredible observation. This is such excellent framing. What do I do to try to convince myself of X? This is definitely something to chew on. ❤️
Has anyone here read The Shame by Makenna Goodman? It’s exactly about all these things-motherhood, identity dissolution, momfluencers, parasocial weirdness. So much in Jess Kirby’s replies reminded me of the book. Including Vermont!
I love Sara and Jess! Thx for this great read. So much to think about re:motherhood and performance.
I always appreciate the question of how we perform online- I have a lot of rules for myself about how I like to portray myself, but admittedly (because I just use Substack as a creative outlet and I write for free), I don’t think as hard about Substack specifically and am more likely to portray myself in a more “genuine” way than I do on Facebook or Instagram where I know more of the people who follow me. Starting to write more about my husband and our relationship this year was a change for me- writing about being in a politically divided household was hard for me because although I ended up getting over 300 likes on my note, I had some unfortunate responses where people were extremely rude. I didn’t really think that hard about it- I share notes all the time on here and barely anyone sees them or likes them, so it was a new experience for me to navigate that. On Substack I have let myself write more about how I really think more often than usual, and it’s not nearly as curated as my carefully crafted Instagram posts for birthdays/anniversaries.
Love how explicit she is about missing the cashflow. The money is such a huge part of it all (as you wrote about in your book) but it's so often missing from even 'candid' conversations with influencers.
YES!
It appears she is...still influencing?! I hadn't heard of Jess and while I found this article really wonderful, when I clicked into her insta handle, she still has a huge following and has photos of her swanning around idyllically with fancy hair no less?! I guess this is a step back from her previous online influencer life?
“And as desperate as I was to show everyone I had figured it out and everything was fine, the person I was trying to convince the most was myself.” Whooooof, what an incredible observation. This is such excellent framing. What do I do to try to convince myself of X? This is definitely something to chew on. ❤️
Sara thank you so much for your thoughtful questions. It was such an honor.
Has anyone here read The Shame by Makenna Goodman? It’s exactly about all these things-motherhood, identity dissolution, momfluencers, parasocial weirdness. So much in Jess Kirby’s replies reminded me of the book. Including Vermont!
ooooh i gotta check it out!
Need to check this book out!
It's from the POV of a mother of young kids who does the parasocial weirdness toward an influencer—so fascinating!!