This article and her book need to be in every OB and pediatrician waiting room - my god. The part where you all discuss the nuclear family ideal especially hit me today because I’m finally going back to work - starting today - and despite my children being of school age and my husband having a job that he can work from home - I have spent the entire week handling logistics for the upcoming school year and securing sitters for when my husband travels for work. This stupid country has done its best so make sure it’s almost impossible for women to be independent and autonomous beings … get a job … but do it so it doesn’t inconvenience anyone or your kids… work from home but enjoy every minute cuz you’re supposed to … it takes a village but you can’t use one in American cuz for aforementioned reasons it’s impossible … what I’ve learned is that regardless of your path as a mother, YOU MUST BUILD A VILLAGE outside of your marriage because you literally never know when you’re going to need it - it’s freedom, it’s community, it’s friendship, and it’s good for your kids to know they can grow up with a community that cares for them and it’s ok to ask for help. Sorry for the rant. Lot of feels with this article.
Not the main point of this excellent interview, but omg that "pregnancy salad"-- I remember reading that recipe early in my first pregnancy and the words "kidney beans" alone almost made me 🤮 when I could handle bagels with cream cheese and basically nothing else. Guess I should be grateful that I stopped reading at that point. The smugness of it all. Thanks for your work Sara!
Love this article. I’m not a mother, and one of the many reasons why was the feeling of lack of support, and how easy it is to lose financial freedom. As you said, we tell women being a mother is the goal, but do as little as possible to support mothers. I’m not ignoring all the dads, but I feel their support to be a dad is primarily financial, as in be the breadwinner, once again pushing everyone back into the 1950’s daydream idea.
This article and her book need to be in every OB and pediatrician waiting room - my god. The part where you all discuss the nuclear family ideal especially hit me today because I’m finally going back to work - starting today - and despite my children being of school age and my husband having a job that he can work from home - I have spent the entire week handling logistics for the upcoming school year and securing sitters for when my husband travels for work. This stupid country has done its best so make sure it’s almost impossible for women to be independent and autonomous beings … get a job … but do it so it doesn’t inconvenience anyone or your kids… work from home but enjoy every minute cuz you’re supposed to … it takes a village but you can’t use one in American cuz for aforementioned reasons it’s impossible … what I’ve learned is that regardless of your path as a mother, YOU MUST BUILD A VILLAGE outside of your marriage because you literally never know when you’re going to need it - it’s freedom, it’s community, it’s friendship, and it’s good for your kids to know they can grow up with a community that cares for them and it’s ok to ask for help. Sorry for the rant. Lot of feels with this article.
the necessity to BUILD the village is so so so spot on
Thanks Eren. And yes, the building a village part is so right and so rewarding and so hard.
Not the main point of this excellent interview, but omg that "pregnancy salad"-- I remember reading that recipe early in my first pregnancy and the words "kidney beans" alone almost made me 🤮 when I could handle bagels with cream cheese and basically nothing else. Guess I should be grateful that I stopped reading at that point. The smugness of it all. Thanks for your work Sara!
Thanks so much for sharing this, Sara!
Love Chelsea’s work!!!!
Love this article. I’m not a mother, and one of the many reasons why was the feeling of lack of support, and how easy it is to lose financial freedom. As you said, we tell women being a mother is the goal, but do as little as possible to support mothers. I’m not ignoring all the dads, but I feel their support to be a dad is primarily financial, as in be the breadwinner, once again pushing everyone back into the 1950’s daydream idea.