I'm here because, despite being in my eighth year of motherhood, I still have very complicated feelings about it and it feels good to know that other people do, too. I'm also obsessed with the perfect picture of motherhood presented by influencers and love making fun of mom-targeted ads. I'd love to see more interviews with people working to dismantle the perfect mom myth and, of course, more deep dives on momfluencers (there seem to be more coming out of the woodwork every day)! Thank you for writing this newsletter, it's everything I never knew I always needed.
I’m here because I’m a mom, and I struggled through all the years of my kids growing up, struggled with impossible expectations and unseen domestic labor. My kids are grown, I’m not on social media and the burdens on moms seems ever more impossible. Your writing helps me unpack what I feel about motherhood. It helps me empathize with my younger coworkers who are also moms.
My motto for this phase of my life is “learning to see the water” referencing, of course, that saying that fish are unaware of the water they swim in (and I wonder, are they actually unaware??). So, learning to see how racism weaves its way into everything, learning to see anti-fat bias also everywhere, and your posts help me learn to see the structural forces at work that say what a “good mom” is and how we all respond to that implicit and explicit messaging.
I’m so glad I found your writing! Congrats on 10k and thank you!
Congratulations on reaching 10k subscribers! I came across an article you wrote for Refinery29--the one about MLMs, then followed you on Twitter, then followed you here. I've been obsessed with MLMs for years and have been working on a novel on the topic. I really appreciate your analysis of momfluencing, performing motherhood, the ridiculousness of the expectations society (media, ads, social media, etc.) puts on us moms. I also fell into the trap of IG #motherhood when I became a mom in 2015, thinking an organic cotton vegetable-dyed sling from Australia would make me feel better about the shit show going on at home and in my mind. And yes, I painted my walls in Benjamin Moore's "Simply White" too. **face palm**
ooooh featuring an interview by emily lynn paulson about her book (all about MLMs) soon! I assume you listened to the dream podcast? That's what got me hooked on all things MLM!
Yes! Listened to The Dream podcast and been waiting impatiently for Emily Lynn Paulson's book to come out. Thank you for your reply Sara and congrats on the book! It's an essential part of my research :)
It's nice to have a little corner of the internet (that isn't a Facebook mom group, how I loathe) devoted to the insanity of motherhood. Previous internet black holes for me include: cults, MLMs, and LoveTaza.
I’m here because honestly, I feel less alone when I read your newsletter. My kid is almost five and I thought things would be easier than the shit show that was PPD and PPA in the first couple years but LOL it’s harder??? I don’t really feel seen or acknowledged by anyone- not by family, not by society - but your writing makes me feel seen and that I’m doing alright, for all the shit moms are up against.
I’m interested in reading (more) about:
- performative motherhood in the workplace. As I’m being mandated to be in the office more (ugh), I find myself trying to be a “perfect mom” in front of not just other parents (there are very few on my team) and even non-parents, and I don’t know why!
- Momfluencers forever. I have such mixed feelings about them! Some of them I truly respect so I feel weird and confused when some things they post (so many kid photos!) make me go 😑
- Product marketing specifically for moms
- interviews with other like-minded individuals
- how anti-black racism shows up in momfluencing
- MLMs - a mom friend who I met in a mommy and baby group tried to sell me workout-and-protein packages and I was so embarrassed for us both
Congrats on 10k! I don’t remember when I found the newsletter but I have loved it’s evolution and the fact that it covers such a variety of subjects important to and affecting moms, so keep on keepin’ on. You feed my want for information and also put my rage into words more eloquently than I could on some of these subjects!
I read the book and loved every minute of the deep dive. But probably I read the newsletter because you’re funny af and that is a nice break in my otherwise serious day. :)
You speak truth in a way that cuts through bullshit, commiserates, enlightens and makes me giggle. I appreciate how you’ve expanded your horizon and brought us all in with you. Thanks for your thoughtful articles and sharing different ideas.
My kids are young adults now, and I still enjoy the hell out of your newsletter. I respect that you examine momfluencer culture with humor and critiques of the broader patriarchal culture without falling back on misogyny. I tell my mom friends with younger kids that the "ideal" motherhood being sold to moms today (stay-at-home mom with leisure time for homeschooling and/or performative parenting and all that entails) has never existed throughout history except perhaps among royalty, and even they had live-in nannies and teachers. I like the breadth of your coverage now but would love to see your takes on parenting LGBTQIA kids in the current political climate, legal rights of moms in the workplace, why freelancing or working from home allows moms (and dads!) the flexibility they need to care for their children--especially those with special needs, how the many (many!) school activities and volunteer opportunities so often exclude working parents or are out of reach for parents in lower socioeconomic brackets, and stories of couples who actually have equitably shared parenting and household duties. I could go on! Congrats on the 10K milestone!
If you need a mom to interview (or just spitball with) who is out here trying to carve a place in the world for neurodiverse queer kids/young adults, reach out any time.
I'm not a mom, but I am an aunt and a k-12 educator. I'm particularly interested in how we can all contribute to building better support systems for parents (I'm also queer and polyamorous and the idea of having a kid within a nuclear family structure seems wildly retrograde to me). I love your deep dive interviews!
I started reading because I heard you on Burnt Toast, and then obsessively listened to all the episodes. And good timing for me, helping to process all the Feelings I’ve had about being a mum since my second was born and I discovered I definitely couldn’t keep up the standards of intensive motherhood I’d set for myself and also, like, have any claim on any kind of sanity. And it makes me laugh!
I am eagerly awaiting my copy of the book which I preordered via Book Depository (to NZ) and is caught up in their end of life postal situation. Should have spoken to a local book shop 🤷🏼♀️
Congratulations on the milestone and the book and all the good things. I'm really here because you're a great writer and I'm super interested in the intersection of motherhood and online culture and picking apart all the ways we get told how to be a woman in this world. I think you speak to all of that!
Congrats on the milestone! That's huge! I'm reading the book now and love it. I came here because your thoughts on what motherhood in the age of social media is really refreshing and feels really honest. There are so many moms on the internet being "honest about the struggles" that is so transparently about trying to be relatable. If I see another video of someone crying or posting a staged photo of them crying I will scream! (why are they always in their car??) I think it would be interesting to see an exploration of what momfluencers think of each other? Do they see other as coworkers, friends, competition, influencer to them, or just another person on the internet?
Congrats on 10k - well-deserved!
I'm here because, despite being in my eighth year of motherhood, I still have very complicated feelings about it and it feels good to know that other people do, too. I'm also obsessed with the perfect picture of motherhood presented by influencers and love making fun of mom-targeted ads. I'd love to see more interviews with people working to dismantle the perfect mom myth and, of course, more deep dives on momfluencers (there seem to be more coming out of the woodwork every day)! Thank you for writing this newsletter, it's everything I never knew I always needed.
I’m here because I’m a mom, and I struggled through all the years of my kids growing up, struggled with impossible expectations and unseen domestic labor. My kids are grown, I’m not on social media and the burdens on moms seems ever more impossible. Your writing helps me unpack what I feel about motherhood. It helps me empathize with my younger coworkers who are also moms.
My motto for this phase of my life is “learning to see the water” referencing, of course, that saying that fish are unaware of the water they swim in (and I wonder, are they actually unaware??). So, learning to see how racism weaves its way into everything, learning to see anti-fat bias also everywhere, and your posts help me learn to see the structural forces at work that say what a “good mom” is and how we all respond to that implicit and explicit messaging.
I’m so glad I found your writing! Congrats on 10k and thank you!
Oooh I love that so much Diane - so glad you're here.
Not a mother - just like your writing and analysis of societal expectations of motherhood. Congratulations on the milestone!
Same!
Congratulations on reaching 10k subscribers! I came across an article you wrote for Refinery29--the one about MLMs, then followed you on Twitter, then followed you here. I've been obsessed with MLMs for years and have been working on a novel on the topic. I really appreciate your analysis of momfluencing, performing motherhood, the ridiculousness of the expectations society (media, ads, social media, etc.) puts on us moms. I also fell into the trap of IG #motherhood when I became a mom in 2015, thinking an organic cotton vegetable-dyed sling from Australia would make me feel better about the shit show going on at home and in my mind. And yes, I painted my walls in Benjamin Moore's "Simply White" too. **face palm**
ooooh featuring an interview by emily lynn paulson about her book (all about MLMs) soon! I assume you listened to the dream podcast? That's what got me hooked on all things MLM!
Yes! Listened to The Dream podcast and been waiting impatiently for Emily Lynn Paulson's book to come out. Thank you for your reply Sara and congrats on the book! It's an essential part of my research :)
It's nice to have a little corner of the internet (that isn't a Facebook mom group, how I loathe) devoted to the insanity of motherhood. Previous internet black holes for me include: cults, MLMs, and LoveTaza.
I will never not be wondering about what happened to Taza!
Never! Every few months a friend and I text each other BUT WHERE'S TAZA?
I’m here because honestly, I feel less alone when I read your newsletter. My kid is almost five and I thought things would be easier than the shit show that was PPD and PPA in the first couple years but LOL it’s harder??? I don’t really feel seen or acknowledged by anyone- not by family, not by society - but your writing makes me feel seen and that I’m doing alright, for all the shit moms are up against.
I’m interested in reading (more) about:
- performative motherhood in the workplace. As I’m being mandated to be in the office more (ugh), I find myself trying to be a “perfect mom” in front of not just other parents (there are very few on my team) and even non-parents, and I don’t know why!
- Momfluencers forever. I have such mixed feelings about them! Some of them I truly respect so I feel weird and confused when some things they post (so many kid photos!) make me go 😑
- Product marketing specifically for moms
- interviews with other like-minded individuals
- how anti-black racism shows up in momfluencing
- MLMs - a mom friend who I met in a mommy and baby group tried to sell me workout-and-protein packages and I was so embarrassed for us both
Anyway, I’m glad you’re here!
Thank you so much Chloe and I'm glad YOU'RE here!
Congrats on 10k! I don’t remember when I found the newsletter but I have loved it’s evolution and the fact that it covers such a variety of subjects important to and affecting moms, so keep on keepin’ on. You feed my want for information and also put my rage into words more eloquently than I could on some of these subjects!
I read the book and loved every minute of the deep dive. But probably I read the newsletter because you’re funny af and that is a nice break in my otherwise serious day. :)
THANK YOU!
You speak truth in a way that cuts through bullshit, commiserates, enlightens and makes me giggle. I appreciate how you’ve expanded your horizon and brought us all in with you. Thanks for your thoughtful articles and sharing different ideas.
Congratulations!! Well-deserved milestone!
My kids are young adults now, and I still enjoy the hell out of your newsletter. I respect that you examine momfluencer culture with humor and critiques of the broader patriarchal culture without falling back on misogyny. I tell my mom friends with younger kids that the "ideal" motherhood being sold to moms today (stay-at-home mom with leisure time for homeschooling and/or performative parenting and all that entails) has never existed throughout history except perhaps among royalty, and even they had live-in nannies and teachers. I like the breadth of your coverage now but would love to see your takes on parenting LGBTQIA kids in the current political climate, legal rights of moms in the workplace, why freelancing or working from home allows moms (and dads!) the flexibility they need to care for their children--especially those with special needs, how the many (many!) school activities and volunteer opportunities so often exclude working parents or are out of reach for parents in lower socioeconomic brackets, and stories of couples who actually have equitably shared parenting and household duties. I could go on! Congrats on the 10K milestone!
Oooh YES - legit copy and pasting the last half of this comment into my newsletter drafts folder! Thank you Toni!
YESSSSSSSS!
If you need a mom to interview (or just spitball with) who is out here trying to carve a place in the world for neurodiverse queer kids/young adults, reach out any time.
I'm not a mom, but I am an aunt and a k-12 educator. I'm particularly interested in how we can all contribute to building better support systems for parents (I'm also queer and polyamorous and the idea of having a kid within a nuclear family structure seems wildly retrograde to me). I love your deep dive interviews!
YES. The nuclear family is . . . not working for almost anyone?!
I started reading because I heard you on Burnt Toast, and then obsessively listened to all the episodes. And good timing for me, helping to process all the Feelings I’ve had about being a mum since my second was born and I discovered I definitely couldn’t keep up the standards of intensive motherhood I’d set for myself and also, like, have any claim on any kind of sanity. And it makes me laugh!
I am eagerly awaiting my copy of the book which I preordered via Book Depository (to NZ) and is caught up in their end of life postal situation. Should have spoken to a local book shop 🤷🏼♀️
Yesss Burnt Toast!
Congratulations on the milestone and the book and all the good things. I'm really here because you're a great writer and I'm super interested in the intersection of motherhood and online culture and picking apart all the ways we get told how to be a woman in this world. I think you speak to all of that!
Congrats on the milestone! That's huge! I'm reading the book now and love it. I came here because your thoughts on what motherhood in the age of social media is really refreshing and feels really honest. There are so many moms on the internet being "honest about the struggles" that is so transparently about trying to be relatable. If I see another video of someone crying or posting a staged photo of them crying I will scream! (why are they always in their car??) I think it would be interesting to see an exploration of what momfluencers think of each other? Do they see other as coworkers, friends, competition, influencer to them, or just another person on the internet?
Ooooh GREAT QUESTION
Wow!! Congratulations. And I’m sure it won’t stop at 10k!