And what it's not!
Also it’s NEVER the time for performative momming on social media so moms who don’t love this stage of life feel bad about it. For all we know this woman had a few good days and reflected on it and thought ‘wow isn’t it great’ then she got her period, the kids were yelling, her husband was nowhere to be found to help and she was just as pissed as the rest of us about the lack of help there is for moms. Ugh.
Just flashed back to how I felt as a newly postpartum mother and tapped into how alienated and rage-y this would have made me. Agree about letting go of “shoulds” but absolutely no to letting go of our sense of ourselves.
This gave me flashbacks to postpartum depression, isolation and lack of meaningful support. No fucking thank you.
We're allowed to like different things in different ways...some people like camping, others don't. Some like staying up late others like going to be early. Some people like watching ballet, others would never. I don't understand why we're all "supposed" to enjoy motherhood the exact same way. For me, breastfeeding felt like a prison. I hated the short leash it kept me on when my babies refused to drink from a bottle. In 21 days I'm moving from a small house to a larger one and I CANNOT wait to have a little more space, a little more breathing room. I know there are families of 12 living in one room houses on the other side of the world and they're happy, but I need more space or I'm going to lose my mind.
This made me very curious about when they do their film editing! Having a hard time picturing these two juggling tech whilst "finding joy in the mundane."
Also alone time at Walmart is just so sad.
“Joy in the mundane” is about connecting, right? Feeling totally connected to the moment and who you’re with or what you’re noticing. Nobody can be connected and present alllllll the time. Breaks are healthy! Rest is healthy! Constant presence is exhausting. Parenting can be exhausting. Nobody can find joy in anything, mundane or not, if all their cylinders are misfiring on empty.
As the mother of two teens, with at least a decade's worth of distance from toddlerhood, I can definitively state that I DO NOT miss "the smallness." The few standout cute, sweet, memorable moments have been captured in photos, and I'm grateful to have those to look back on. But even when I see a a photo of my 2-month old daughter smiling, I can still vividly remember the reality that existed beyond the limits of that photo: the colic, the sporadic 20-minute naps, the need for her to be constantly carried or rocked, and the incompetence and helplessness that I felt as a brand new mom. Her brother, born 3 years later, was a much easier baby, which made it easier to appreciate "smallness", but the labor (and often frustration) of caring for small children still occupied the foreground of my life.
It's okay to NOT miss this time, to find caring for babies and toddlers to be a laborious pain in the ass, and to feel relief at your kids being past this point of childhood. Good for the OP if she can appreciate the "smallness", but those of us who like our kids now more than when they were babies, those are valid feelings too.