35 Comments
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Sarah Ezrin's avatar

That Dad water is served on tap at Ken’s mojo dojo casa house

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Sara Petersen's avatar

YES

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Wendy's avatar

If my husband tells me he wants to go "drink some Rodney", I feel like I'd have more than one follow up question.

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Sara Petersen's avatar

lolllllllll

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Erin Boyle's avatar

The %$$$$$*&!!!!!! The tequila water juuuuust about did me in. And, to be v v clear, these are *100 percent* Grandma Water names.

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Anna's avatar

Right?? Those names go along with the 60s vibe of the satin pajama ad. (My late mother was named Susie, my fifth grade best friend’s mom was Karen - and I’m an Old Mom with an almost-tween!) Modern mom waters should be named Lindsay and Lauren, mayyybe Michelle and Jennifer if you want to get the latter Gen X gals on board, though most of us have older kids at this point and are less desperate for Mommy’s Sippy Cup.

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Sara Petersen's avatar

This is all correct!!

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Sara Petersen's avatar

you are 100% CORRECT

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Meredith Constant's avatar

Incredible work. The way we ignore the lack of social safety nets that lead women to depending on alcohol to get them through the day with their children. But why do that when you could make money off of marketing Mommy Water. Do you think Mommy Juice lost its allure because of the sugar count?

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Sara Petersen's avatar

lol TRULY!

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Cara Bowman's avatar

This is nuts. Going to share a my sociology of marriage/families students.

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Sara Petersen's avatar

thank you!

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Amanda Montei's avatar

Dad Water’s bandana speaks volumes.

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Sara Petersen's avatar

it really does

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Jillian L Schweitzer's avatar

My face was scrunched like a mis-folded fitted sheet the entire time I read this. WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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Sara Petersen's avatar

lol lol you shoud've seen me when i found the names of the dad waters. it was a beautiful moment.

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Anna's avatar

Granddad waters 😅

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Sara Petersen's avatar

bahahahaha

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Erin Kuhn's avatar

What the actual fuck? Thank you for writing about this in such an excoriating and hilarious way. It is needed. We need to burn this shit to the ground, does Mom

Water have enough ABV to help us or will it continue to douse the flames? Sadly I'm guessing the latter.

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Sara Petersen's avatar

lol TRULY

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Pam B's avatar

When the Wine Mom meme first came out, I loved it! I wanted a shirt that said 'wine o'clock' on it, genuinely! There is a wine booth at the Minnesota State Fair (yes) and they had a clock on display in the shape of the state that said 'wine o'clock' and if it had been a t shirt, I would have bought it.

But the more I thought about, and the more I was bombarded with, both wine memes and coffee memes (But First, Coffee) the ickier I felt about making drinking anything part of my personality so visible that I had to buy merch to promote it. I have a stemless wine glass from Dollar Tree with a Wine Mom phrase on it, and I rarely use it. At least it was only $1!

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Kristin DeMarr's avatar

This was such a fantastic read! Hard pass. I’m with you - the only thing that marginally makes a seltzer drinkable is the fizz!

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Sam Alviani's avatar

LOL’d robustly throughout

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Sam Farrah's avatar

Racking my brain over here trying to figure out when burping from carbonation ever became “out” (it’s always in) or why that’s even salient lol.

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Sara Petersen's avatar

oh they act like burping from carbonation is like the biggest issue of our time in the rest of their marketing - it's wild!

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A Gal Somewhere's avatar

I just want to have been in the meetings where any of this was greenlit: the concept, the name, the branding, the ads. GOOD LORD

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Sara Petersen's avatar

omg i know! what a dream.

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Serafina Purcell's avatar

It’s giving mad men vibes to me 😬

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Elizabeth Heydary's avatar

My SIL gave me one of these last summer and it was so flat and flavorless. Pass!

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Sara Petersen's avatar

I AM NOT SURPRISED

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Mary's avatar

This is insane!!! Thank you for lampooning this garbage. Good Lord.

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Sara Petersen's avatar

💃

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Kelly's avatar

Just saw an ad for “Mamitas” (a tequila seltzer: vomit)… created by Brody Jenner… double vomit. I remembered reading about Mom Water here and had to add the latest “mama drink” UGH.

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Sara Petersen's avatar

mama drink - a truly cursed phrase is ever there was one!

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