35 Comments

That Dad water is served on tap at Ken’s mojo dojo casa house

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YES

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If my husband tells me he wants to go "drink some Rodney", I feel like I'd have more than one follow up question.

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lolllllllll

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The %$$$$$*&!!!!!! The tequila water juuuuust about did me in. And, to be v v clear, these are *100 percent* Grandma Water names.

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Right?? Those names go along with the 60s vibe of the satin pajama ad. (My late mother was named Susie, my fifth grade best friend’s mom was Karen - and I’m an Old Mom with an almost-tween!) Modern mom waters should be named Lindsay and Lauren, mayyybe Michelle and Jennifer if you want to get the latter Gen X gals on board, though most of us have older kids at this point and are less desperate for Mommy’s Sippy Cup.

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This is all correct!!

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you are 100% CORRECT

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Incredible work. The way we ignore the lack of social safety nets that lead women to depending on alcohol to get them through the day with their children. But why do that when you could make money off of marketing Mommy Water. Do you think Mommy Juice lost its allure because of the sugar count?

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lol TRULY!

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This is nuts. Going to share a my sociology of marriage/families students.

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thank you!

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Dad Water’s bandana speaks volumes.

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it really does

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My face was scrunched like a mis-folded fitted sheet the entire time I read this. WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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lol lol you shoud've seen me when i found the names of the dad waters. it was a beautiful moment.

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Granddad waters 😅

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bahahahaha

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What the actual fuck? Thank you for writing about this in such an excoriating and hilarious way. It is needed. We need to burn this shit to the ground, does Mom

Water have enough ABV to help us or will it continue to douse the flames? Sadly I'm guessing the latter.

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lol TRULY

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When the Wine Mom meme first came out, I loved it! I wanted a shirt that said 'wine o'clock' on it, genuinely! There is a wine booth at the Minnesota State Fair (yes) and they had a clock on display in the shape of the state that said 'wine o'clock' and if it had been a t shirt, I would have bought it.

But the more I thought about, and the more I was bombarded with, both wine memes and coffee memes (But First, Coffee) the ickier I felt about making drinking anything part of my personality so visible that I had to buy merch to promote it. I have a stemless wine glass from Dollar Tree with a Wine Mom phrase on it, and I rarely use it. At least it was only $1!

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This was such a fantastic read! Hard pass. I’m with you - the only thing that marginally makes a seltzer drinkable is the fizz!

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LOL’d robustly throughout

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Racking my brain over here trying to figure out when burping from carbonation ever became “out” (it’s always in) or why that’s even salient lol.

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oh they act like burping from carbonation is like the biggest issue of our time in the rest of their marketing - it's wild!

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I just want to have been in the meetings where any of this was greenlit: the concept, the name, the branding, the ads. GOOD LORD

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omg i know! what a dream.

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It’s giving mad men vibes to me 😬

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My SIL gave me one of these last summer and it was so flat and flavorless. Pass!

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I AM NOT SURPRISED

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This is insane!!! Thank you for lampooning this garbage. Good Lord.

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💃

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Just saw an ad for “Mamitas” (a tequila seltzer: vomit)… created by Brody Jenner… double vomit. I remembered reading about Mom Water here and had to add the latest “mama drink” UGH.

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mama drink - a truly cursed phrase is ever there was one!

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