34 Comments

That Dad water is served on tap at Ken’s mojo dojo casa house

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Mar 22Liked by Sara Petersen

If my husband tells me he wants to go "drink some Rodney", I feel like I'd have more than one follow up question.

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The %$$$$$*&!!!!!! The tequila water juuuuust about did me in. And, to be v v clear, these are *100 percent* Grandma Water names.

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Mar 22Liked by Sara Petersen

Dad Water’s bandana speaks volumes.

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Incredible work. The way we ignore the lack of social safety nets that lead women to depending on alcohol to get them through the day with their children. But why do that when you could make money off of marketing Mommy Water. Do you think Mommy Juice lost its allure because of the sugar count?

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Mar 22Liked by Sara Petersen

This is nuts. Going to share a my sociology of marriage/families students.

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My face was scrunched like a mis-folded fitted sheet the entire time I read this. WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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This was such a fantastic read! Hard pass. I’m with you - the only thing that marginally makes a seltzer drinkable is the fizz!

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Mar 24Liked by Sara Petersen

When the Wine Mom meme first came out, I loved it! I wanted a shirt that said 'wine o'clock' on it, genuinely! There is a wine booth at the Minnesota State Fair (yes) and they had a clock on display in the shape of the state that said 'wine o'clock' and if it had been a t shirt, I would have bought it.

But the more I thought about, and the more I was bombarded with, both wine memes and coffee memes (But First, Coffee) the ickier I felt about making drinking anything part of my personality so visible that I had to buy merch to promote it. I have a stemless wine glass from Dollar Tree with a Wine Mom phrase on it, and I rarely use it. At least it was only $1!

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What the actual fuck? Thank you for writing about this in such an excoriating and hilarious way. It is needed. We need to burn this shit to the ground, does Mom

Water have enough ABV to help us or will it continue to douse the flames? Sadly I'm guessing the latter.

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Mar 24Liked by Sara Petersen

LOL’d robustly throughout

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I just want to have been in the meetings where any of this was greenlit: the concept, the name, the branding, the ads. GOOD LORD

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Racking my brain over here trying to figure out when burping from carbonation ever became “out” (it’s always in) or why that’s even salient lol.

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Your drink should match your outfit?? Thank you for this essay, my mind will be boggling for the rest of the day.

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This is insane!!! Thank you for lampooning this garbage. Good Lord.

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My SIL gave me one of these last summer and it was so flat and flavorless. Pass!

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