I could relate to so much here! I’m a few years past you in my parenting phase. I remember those moments with the toddler underfoot and older kids everywhere else. Neither listen and both leave messes of different types. "Normal” days start feeling rare. Someone’s always sick or upset. Add to this work, extended family, social pressures, and hormonal shifting which often starts around the same time (not saying that’s you, but that was me). Even the good things started to feel like too much.
I remember feeling like crap and looking for some easy fix. And there are lots to find out there in wellness world if you’re lookin’. A lot of it’s BS. Most of it’s a waste of time and money. The truth is I had to lower my expectations. Let go of a lot. Be okay with disappointing someone other than myself. Allow myself to be vulnerable,
Now I try to focus on the basics: Hydration. Movement (of any kind!). Eat some veggies, good fats, and protein everyday. Sleep as best I can. Few days I get all of it right, but I try to veer in that direction each day.
But here’s the question: Why does it feel like an uphill battle just to do the basics that support health? And why doesn’t our culture fully acknowledge how that hill is SO much steeper for a lot of people.
I love Dr. Pooja Lakshmin’s book and look forward to your interview at a more manageable time for you. I think challenging the self-care culture is important. It’s based on the false premise of “I alone can fix” whatever problem I’m having with my health. Sure, self-care has a place, but community care plays a much bigger role in outcomes and that’s been ignored for too long!
I completely agree with everything you’ve written. I’ve come to the same conclusion. I need to drink water, stretch my muscles and eat some food. I’m hungry. I have time to eat something delicious. The other stuff will wait.
I relate so hard. I am so all about everyone having time to decompress, process, be un-productive and do the opposite of hustle, whatever that is -- except for me. I compress, push down, produce and hustle and then collapse and watch 15 minutes of Sex/Life on my phone from under the coffee table (why there? I don't know, I think i'm secretly a den animal) and call that "me time". Will be ordering this book for sure.
I just saw a TikTok (omg get me off that platform) where a gal said she sleeps with T-Rex arms and an OT or someone like that was like "These are neurologic soft signs indicating your system is overwhelmed" and I was like "oh look, further confirmation" lol. I love me some T-Rex arms. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR7XH8xj/
That being said - HOW DO WE DO WHAT WE DO WITHOUT BEING EFFING TIRED - like what is this story that we are supposed to NOT be tired? We're supposed to have jobs, raise kids and write a book (then promote it) and also NOT BE TIRED, like somehow we are doing all of that and yet we are failing by not doing "self care"?
What if we reframed all this as our "busting ass" phase and just accepted it. Like finals week in college when you know you won't sleep or junior year of high school when the kids start drinking 8 Red Bulls a day and we say "well it's just this week" or "it's just junior year" ... Maybe we can accept that these are our Book Years and doing t-rex under the coffee table is normal and OK during your Book Years.
I could relate to so much here! I’m a few years past you in my parenting phase. I remember those moments with the toddler underfoot and older kids everywhere else. Neither listen and both leave messes of different types. "Normal” days start feeling rare. Someone’s always sick or upset. Add to this work, extended family, social pressures, and hormonal shifting which often starts around the same time (not saying that’s you, but that was me). Even the good things started to feel like too much.
I remember feeling like crap and looking for some easy fix. And there are lots to find out there in wellness world if you’re lookin’. A lot of it’s BS. Most of it’s a waste of time and money. The truth is I had to lower my expectations. Let go of a lot. Be okay with disappointing someone other than myself. Allow myself to be vulnerable,
Now I try to focus on the basics: Hydration. Movement (of any kind!). Eat some veggies, good fats, and protein everyday. Sleep as best I can. Few days I get all of it right, but I try to veer in that direction each day.
But here’s the question: Why does it feel like an uphill battle just to do the basics that support health? And why doesn’t our culture fully acknowledge how that hill is SO much steeper for a lot of people.
I love Dr. Pooja Lakshmin’s book and look forward to your interview at a more manageable time for you. I think challenging the self-care culture is important. It’s based on the false premise of “I alone can fix” whatever problem I’m having with my health. Sure, self-care has a place, but community care plays a much bigger role in outcomes and that’s been ignored for too long!
hell YES to community!
I completely agree with everything you’ve written. I’ve come to the same conclusion. I need to drink water, stretch my muscles and eat some food. I’m hungry. I have time to eat something delicious. The other stuff will wait.
I relate so hard. I am so all about everyone having time to decompress, process, be un-productive and do the opposite of hustle, whatever that is -- except for me. I compress, push down, produce and hustle and then collapse and watch 15 minutes of Sex/Life on my phone from under the coffee table (why there? I don't know, I think i'm secretly a den animal) and call that "me time". Will be ordering this book for sure.
I'm obsessed with the under coffee table factor here!
I just saw a TikTok (omg get me off that platform) where a gal said she sleeps with T-Rex arms and an OT or someone like that was like "These are neurologic soft signs indicating your system is overwhelmed" and I was like "oh look, further confirmation" lol. I love me some T-Rex arms. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR7XH8xj/
oh wow wow wow YES
Proof we are effing tired.
That being said - HOW DO WE DO WHAT WE DO WITHOUT BEING EFFING TIRED - like what is this story that we are supposed to NOT be tired? We're supposed to have jobs, raise kids and write a book (then promote it) and also NOT BE TIRED, like somehow we are doing all of that and yet we are failing by not doing "self care"?
What if we reframed all this as our "busting ass" phase and just accepted it. Like finals week in college when you know you won't sleep or junior year of high school when the kids start drinking 8 Red Bulls a day and we say "well it's just this week" or "it's just junior year" ... Maybe we can accept that these are our Book Years and doing t-rex under the coffee table is normal and OK during your Book Years.
Just a thought lol
VALID