103 Comments

Iā€™d love someone to come in and recommend house improvements/updates on a DIY budget rather than HGTV budget - also could reallllly use a non-judgmental parenting and marriage expert šŸ˜‚

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COULDNT WE ALL lol

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I worked for a LICSW/parenting coach who is delightfully non-judgmental and so helpful. They are out there!

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Oooh! I want someone to take all of our ridiculous eating patterns (fod-map, veg, meat lover, annoyingly picky 10 year old) and develop a menu plan that I can batch cook. It would be a dream.

As a business, I do this "expert" work for others in their pregnancies. Give them the care that they need specific to their unique lives. I looooove the work.

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love!

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Yes and also someone to take this info and make a personalized meal kit subscription service would be great.

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I'm so curious to know all of your meal details šŸ˜¬ I cook a week of meals each year for some wildly different food needs when my family gets together so I (weirdly?) love hearing about the complex meal plan needs of others.

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Try ChatGPT for the meal plan!

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I've often wished someone could assess where my blind spots are as far as intergenerational patterns and cycles that I want to/would want to break if I knew about them and could see them.

A crystal ball-wielding business coach might also be helpful. It's been hard to know how much I can offer (for my own coaching) very far in advance due to my health being precarious and so just haven't and then I find myself wishing I was helping people while I feel well.

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I want someone who comes to do a house checkup once a year and gives you an idea of what to watch out for in the next year, spots any small issues that we don't usually see until they become catastrophic. What if we could pay like $200 to repair a small thing we would never have seen until it became a $9,000 thing? I also want someone to tell me very clearly and honestly "this is when you need a new roof".

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Seriously this is a billion-dollar idea.

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This sounds like the things our home inspector told us. Maybe find a good one and ask for a partial inspection?

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I want someone like Marie Kondo/a housekeeper who can whip us into shape and give us a better system to follow. This person would understand our specific needs because of our work schedules (I work M-Fr 9-6 and am gone from 8:15-7 because of my commute; he works less days overall as a police officer but his shift is 8-6:30 which means heā€™s basically gone from 7:30-7). They would also know the extenuating factors created by our personalities to help us figure out how to do everything we want to do to keep a tidier home in the very small amount of time we have to do it in while also allowing for us to have rest time/quality family time because no one wants to spend all our days off cleaning.

Itā€™s an extremely specific ask, but between my ADHD and my husbandā€™s tendency to overestimate how productive he can actually be for a sustained period of time, both of us get burnt out on cleaning/decluttering and then one task like deep cleaning the tub wonā€™t get done for forever because it feels too overwhelming. So then we do a half-ass job cleaning the bathroom and arenā€™t happy with the way it looks, but neither one of us really WANTS to do it the right way where it would take (in our minds at least) ā€œtoo long.ā€

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I think there are actual people who do this?!

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Oh I am sure it exists because I watched that show on Netflix that was Get Organized With the Home Edit. But it is absolutely not cheap and weā€™ve never even been able to justify hiring a housekeeper with the budget that we have. And that level of organization still seemed too stressful and like I would eventually fall off because they would expect me to adhere to their system, and itā€™s hard for me to maintain that level of system.

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Yeah I want this person too- also a landscaper that will get our yard to a more manageable state bc my husband loves to tell me how long heā€™s been working and it still looks like barely anything has happened. We have to get someone to clear out that brush pile. And ideally a roofer but it seems really expensive and not in our budget but Iā€™m so tired of hearing about our peeling shingles and ā€œevidence of leaksā€ on those street assessment cards they leave on my door!

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I actually do this as a home organization coach in the area! You can probably find a KonMari-trained organizer in your area, there are 100s of them.

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I want this too! I will say I got an ad for this IG account which I found both infuriating (that mom has to figure this out and create the system) but also intriguing. I have yet to test out this type of system because that would take time to actually figure out, but perhaps there's something to it? https://www.instagram.com/_kellynolan_?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

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I actually took Kelly Nolanā€™s course in 2022 or ā€˜23 (what even is time) and sheā€™s the real deal. As a person she is approachable and caring, and her ā€œthingā€ is using a digital calendar to make all the stuff that you do every day visual, so that it actually reflects the way your time gets used. I recommend it especially for parents juggling corporate schedules. Iā€™m self employed so it felt a little trickier for me to figure out. Happy to chat more.

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Oh this is super helpful, I'm self employed too and my husband has a super inconsistent but intense work schedule. I'll send you a DM if I find the time to look into it more, thanks for the offer!

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I need someone to convince my 86 year old mom that she should move to a senior apartment in my town. Sheā€™s got cognitive decline, vision issues and is in denial both about how much help she needs and also about how burnt out my brother and I are after doing 6 years of in home eldercare for my dad.

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All the experts do exist--but I want them to be:

1) able to see me not 6 months from now (looking at you dermatologist)

2) not expensive (ahem, home design and landscaping help)

3) not have to wade through 1,000 reviews to get to the one I want

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THIS EXACTLY THIS

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I want someone who can help me understand the mysterious skin-gut-brain-immune connection that has me feeling low grade run down all the time but is not something any medical professional has had anything useful to say about...for years. I suspect the answer is something like "intergenerational trauma turns into inflammation in the body" but I also don't want to rely on a dozen online self-nominated gurus and their downloadable courses for their solutions. I want a trustworthy expert to see how it all fits together and help me feel better.

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oh man diana this one sounds PARTICULARLY like a good case for a fairy godmother!

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it occurs to me that most of what we are looking for involves integrated/nonsiloed thinking and nonjudgement attention to the whole person and their capacities. ie, care. this isn't magic!

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If itā€™s manifesting in your skin, I strongly recommend going to a dermatologist for a skin allergy test and general consultation . I have sensitive skin/rosacea/eczema, all of which are made worse by stress. Finding out that I am allergic to many fragrance ingredients and also manifest seasonal allergies as eczema instead of congestion has helped a lot. It doesnā€™t solve the other root causes but at least I donā€™t get red and itchy anymore

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Try somatic based therapy, or Hakomi, I hear itā€™s wonderful to find and address the international trauma piece. But admittedly I have not tried it myselfā€¦yet

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yes this has helped a lot with some of it for sure! i haven't done hakomi but i hear it's fantastic too.

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love it if any of YOU have thoughts

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Have you had genetic testing? I own a healthcare communications agency, we work with pharmaceutical companies mostly on rare diseases. There are free generic testing programs bc they need to find patients/ learn more. I can share more if you're interested. There are like 600+ immune disorder genetic markers, more discovered all the time. We do patient focus groups to learn more about how people finally get diagnosed and with immune disorders or can be a long road.

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interesting!

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This one has the most broad criteria for getting tested, and the test should look at all known conditions, not just APDS. You have to ask a doctor to order genetic testing. https://allaboutapds.com/diagnosing-apds/

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I'd love for an expert to come and potty train my 3.5 y.o. We've had a few failed attempts, even after consulting with OT/PT and I'm just so sick of dealing with this problem

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Daycare did it for my kid, and took a lot of stress away!

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I feel you!

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it's so hard!

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I'd like to add that I developed EXCRUCIATING plantar fasccitis (fuck the spelling) yesterday - WHAT DO I DO lol - is there an expert here? haha

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lol fuck the spelling, IYKYK. Agree with the comment above that seeing a PT is probably step one! Random things Iā€™ve done when this has flared for me (had it badly for a few months about a decade ago and occasionally I feel hints of it coming back but has never been as bad as that one time): wear compression socks to bed, rarely if ever go barefoot (shoes around the house, avoid sandals/flat shoes), and get a (ā€œsportsā€) massage. I am not an expert! Just chiming in with lived experience šŸ™ƒ

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Having spent many years with plantar fasciitis, it depends on the kind you have. I finally found a physical therapist (after going to three!) who finally gave me good advice, and Iā€™ve been pain free for a year. I would start with the typical stuff on PF online - cold massage ball, the stretcher boot. Mine ended up being too tight of fascia in my legs. Wearing oofos around the house, a cushiony insert in my tennis shoes, and touching my toes with my legs straight really helps me.

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Yes, no longer barefoot in the house came for me during lockdown. I wear Crocs sandals or Oofos as house slippers.

Iā€™ve been in retail all my life so it was time that plantar fasciitis finally came for me. I replaced all of my very old sneakers, no longer wear sandals for a workday and roll on a bottle of ice twice a day. I do need to Google exercises!

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Oh! If you can find someone (sometimes a chiropractor or PT) who does Graston, itā€™s a game changer for PF! Itā€™s painful and awful but it works. I am a longtime distance runner and had bad PF flare ups every year for three years, the Graston guy got to the root of it and Iā€™ve been PF free for a decade.

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youā€™ve got great advice already here, just adding my experience of it from earlier this year. as a yoga teacher and person who loves going barefoot all the time, i had to completely stop wearing flip flops, invest in hokas (bondi 8s) for walking shoes, and get a pair of very thick and cushioned house slippers (similar to oofas). and religiously stretch my calves every day. it took a several months, but iā€™m back to my barefoot flip flop lifestyle without pain (but when i need to walk any distance i wear only my hokas, they are the best!)

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Read everything you can about it from Katy Bowman at https://www.nutritiousmovement.com/. I can't promise it will heal you because every body is different. But, I tried everything everyone on here tried and none of it worked. I even tried shots in my feet! None of it worked but Katy's advice did and I've been pain free now for a decade!

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everyone is RIGHT ON about always wearing Oofos or Hoka slides in the house - never barefoot. I swear by this foot massager: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06WGP2CVL?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details. I grind my feet into it (it hurts) for about 15 minutes twice a day and the PF went away within a week. Just stick it under your "desk".

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See my myofascial release massage recommendation above--also, tomorrow morning before you get out of bed, stretch out your feet (especially the toes) and use each foot to do a little self massage on the top of your feet just below the toes. If that doesn't help enough, repeat the self massage up and down your calves.

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I had a short stint with plantar fasciitis and it turns out my shoes were too small! I had to replace a few of my shoes but the pain was gone in no time.

But definitely look for a physiotherapist to do an assessment!

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The green Foot Rubz massage ball!! Start rolling your arch and heel over it while sitting, then progress to doing it while standing (this is what I had to do at least). Brought it everywhere and did it all the time - a gamechanger.

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on plantar fasciitis, my experience is that experimenting unfortunately was the most effective. which exact shoes work, in particular. it was not what the podiatrist advised. and lots of calf stretches, so many.

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I had never heard of this condition, ever in my life, and now you're the second person this week to tell me they suffer from it!

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Kt tape. It doesnā€™t make it go away but takes the edge off so you can function.

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Currently could use an expert in all things Career Transition! I started working for myself 7 years ago ā€” private nutrition practice, then started a business that provided continuing education for RDs but I just closed that after 6 years ā€” and have had 3 kids in the meantime. I both feel like I have ALL the skills and also maybe none of them, having not been in a ā€œnormalā€ work environment for so long. Iā€™m only certain that I want to not work in that field anymore, or at least not in any of the expected ways. Also how do I make my LinkedIn/Resume reflect those things but also appease the new job app algorithms?! So many questions, and meanwhile the kids are still being kids šŸ™ƒ

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I follow Julia @smarterinasec on Insta and this is exactly what she does. Smarterinasec.com

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all the skills and none of them after childbirthing is EXACTLY where i am at too!!! skills that include conflict resolution šŸ™„, interpersonal leadership....

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Someone to be my organization/handyman friend. I'm not capable of a lot of home tasks or conceptualizing layout at the moment (7 months preggers) but I really, really want to do it. I only need a few hours of a friend saying "Let's try the couch here" or "Oh yeah, I can help you install the shelves there. What if we did them like this?" I don't need a professional, I just need a friend who wants to experiment a bit.

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I had a friend come over and help me hang art once. It was so fun. She had ideas I would never have thought of.

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I need a friend with a truck and would happily trade baked goods and small electrical, handyman and plumbing help for it. Sadly I have no clue on furniture arrangement or decor so Iā€™d also need help for that

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I want a reproductive endocrinologist who is not fat phobic, not bought by the pharmaceutical industry, anti-diet culture, and be compassionate towards trauma, miscarriage, neurospicy brains, and PCOS symptoms. Does a person like that even exist? I just want to be treated like a human. šŸ˜­

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ugh - i know Virginia did an interview with someone about this - hold on....

https://virginiasolesmith.substack.com/p/we-need-to-talk-about-fat-fertility

And also I think Jen Mclellan might be a good resource?

https://plusmommy.com/pregnancy/

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Someone to explain why my migraines have increased significantly in frequency and severity this year. I have a neuro appointment, but not a lot of hope for answers. Also please don't ask people why we get migraines! If I knew, I'd do something!!!

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I feel you! Stress is a huge migraine trigger for me so...I mean, stress is a real issue for most of us. The other one is weather, and depending on where you live it might be a factor. Changes in weather (high / low pressure systems) make my migraines absolute poison.

Someone mentioned a headache specialist and I can't second it enough. This also seems crazy but the Migrastil roll on oil is incredibly soothing when I have one. Heavy duty narcotics don't help me as much as that dumb aromatherapy stick.

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solidarity - mine are tension headaches not migraines, but wow are most of the doctors i've seen not at all helpful, esp the neurologist. basically throwing difft muscle relaxants at me that either do nothing at all or i can't take during the day. in my case PT was fairly helpful since mine seems to be a neck/shoulder tension thing.

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You may have already explored this path, but my tension headaches dramatically improved when I started wearing a night guard that helped prevent chomping / grinding my teeth at night and therefore less neck tension. Solidarity from the tension headache crowd, been managing mine for almost 20 yearsā€¦ the biggest things have been the night guard and less caffeine.

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NIGHTGUARDS FOR LIFE - i am evangelical about this!

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i have a friend who is not a neurologist but a "headache specialist" - an interdisciplinary specialty. he had all kind of amazing revelations for me on the explanatory side. he does not live where i live though so it hasnt translated to therapeutic care, but maybe a fairy goddoctor does exist in this case?

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Same. In fact Iā€™ve tried to figure it out again and again!

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Saw this article this week.... People using vibrators on their foreheads to stop their migraine pain.

https://www.wired.com/story/wired-health-hub-why-vibrating-your-body-the-right-way-could-relieve-migraines/

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I was so desperate I tried it!!!!! šŸ˜† it made me nauseous šŸ¤¢

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:-(

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I'm certain hormones have something to do with it. Gyno and GP told me no way, but continuous birth control kept them manageable for a while, now suddenly flairing.

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My gyno took me off of estrogen-based birth control bc I get migraines and their frequency decreased DRAMATICALLY. Plus I donā€™t get periods on the hormonal IUD

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That's good to keep in mind. Mine pop up at the end of my cycle so I think it's opposite

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I want someone to sell/donate all the old non-fitting clothes in my closet and my daughter's closet. I didn't realize that one of the great slogs of motherhood would be keeping a child constantly appropriately-clothed and dealing with the too-small clothes responsibly!

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I had tremendous help that sounds similar to what you're looking for from an occupational therapist. I have a soft tissue disorder that affects everything in my body, but shows up the most in my joints (for now). An occupational therapist taught me what assistive devices would be best for me, but also simple things I never thought of. If my hips and back are bothering me, make sure things I use most in the kitchen, for example, don't require bending, or squatting or putting strain on those places.

What I like is for someone to meet me, see how I exist in the world, and help me feed myself in a way that's healthy but easy. Give me grocery lists. Give me easy recipes. Help me work around the things my system won't tolerate. That's what I'd like most.

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